When I was about 5 years old I had waist length hair. I was sitting in the backseat of my mothers car. We were picking up my brother from school. He got into the backseat of the car and proceeded to vomit all down the top of my head. It was disgusting. We went home and my mother proceeded to wash my hair in the sink. I don’t know where my brother was at that time. All I remember was being bent over the sink with vomit all down my waist length hair. The next thing I remember is being at my mothers friends house, my brother with his head in the friends toilet and me standing in the doorway watching, terrified. I am now 63 years old and still terrified to vomit. I’m afraid I will have a panic attack and vomit. This is always on the back of my mind. The last time I vomited was in 1959. I am afraid of nausea too. I’d rather die than be nauseated or throw up. I live in this prison every day. I think I’m gonna die with this fear. The monophobia comes from my brother ‘s schizophrenia and me hiding in my room terrified waiting for his psychotic attacks to be over and no one coming to check on me to see how I was doing. I really need some understanding words as I am getting older and this is really wearing me down. Thanks for any feedback. Anything at all.
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