Ok, so… When I was a child I lived with my grandparents and mother only until I was 3 years old, then we moved to live with my father when he retired from working in the USA. We moved to a small apartment which was nice but had a little problem, it had a cockroach infestation.
I had many experiences dealing with roaches since a very very young age and so I started to hate them.
Right now I am 18 years old and I cannot see one of these insects without either screaming at the top of my lungs or having a bad panic attack and ending up crying.
It is 3 am over here right now and I can’t sleep, why is this relevant? Well, I just had to kill a huge roach by my own means… My cat had just brought one on my bed.
I was mortified.
After killing it I was not relieved. I was disgusted, almost vomited then and there. My hands are still trembling as I type this.
I am NOT proud of myself… I feel so dirty and I won’t be getting much sleep now…
I thought that this would help me overcome my fear… It didn’t… If anything it made it WAY worse.
I don’t know… I just saw this tab after reading the article about this phobia and decided to Let it all out here… At least now I have the name for this and might be able to get help if the need arises. So thanks for the info and for reading… I hope someone out there has had a similar experience or can relate to this…
Thank you and have a nice day/night.