Hello I am 41 years old now, and have been deathly afraid of the dark and what is in it since I can remember. I think I can recall back to age 54 or 5, being too scared to sleep at all. All throughout childhood I had to sleep in the light, or not at all, or buried under a ton of blankets, immobile and trying to breathe through a little hole between by baseboards because I was so scared. As a very young child I had some type of paranormal experience that scared me forever. I used to believe animals that would eat me to the bone could take over my floor and walls if I dared step down out of bed. I used to have to run to the bathroom, scared the whole way that I would die, and then back, turn off my light on wall and make a sprint to the bed. Until I gave up and began leaving lights on all night. My parents were very permissive and I really had no set bedtimes. Also I was allowed to keep my doors closed and lights on if I wished. I never once even mentioned my fear to my family, I simply suffered all alone as an only child. Now I am adult, and am still scared to death every night and because I now live with my long term boyfriend who wants it darker at night, I have to compromise a bit. I leave one lamp on still, but the rest turned off and its too light for him still but I am too afraid with all off. Also I am still scared even with one light on. I start to think the minute it gets to be middle of the night, evil things are there hiding, supernatural beings all around. And if I cannot quite see around corners or in closets I just know something is there. I am even scared to reach into a room to flip a light on, for fear my arm will be grabbed by supernatural beings. I have zero fear of robbers, killers, home invasion, stalkers, or any real life humans who are a threat. They never scare me at all and it never even crosses my mind. It is all the other things I deeply believe in such as aliens, ghosts and spirits, demons, monsters of many sorts. Aliens especially because I had an experience with this at age 12, on a boat on a lake with several other people. I also woke up one time with a mark of the trinity on my arm, HUGE three long burned in scratches extending down the entire right arm from bicep to forearm, it could not be mistaken or anything else. I was sleeping, all alone, no fire or issues at all, in a bed. I got demonic scratches in my sleep and I did not cause it myself as my nails were short so I had only skin sticking out at my fingertips. There’s no other explanation anyone can give me, even doctors had no clue. It was burned in like a fire did it too. Then at age 28, I slept in a room that someone else died in earlier that year and I SAW a spirit one night. It never hurt nor even acknowledged me, but scared me so much I left that place. I grew up in a home that was haunted also, items moved without cause etc. And I went to a High School that is known to be haunted as well, is featured in a few books on haunted locations in the USA, and even ghost hunters go there to see what is going on. So I have reason to believe as I do. And I wish my mind didn’t associate fear and spirits etc. with dark and nighttime. I have not slept in total darkness EVER since I was a baby, so not in 37 years. Some nights I am scared enough that when I need the restroom I put it off out of fear, or I need to wake up to go somewhere before light out because in MN in Dec-Feb it is dark from 4 PM to 8 AM and they are fearful, horrifying months for me! I wish I could get over this, but nothing can convince me that things I have SEEN with my own eyes aren’t real.
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