When I was about 5, I got really sick with a fever. My mom gave me some medicine, I can’t remember exactly what it was, but it was strong, and unknown to her. I hadn’t eaten anything prior to taking the medication and it really messed me up.
Shortly after taking the medicine, I started getting hallucinations. I don’t remember all of them, but the one that is still crystal clear is this.
My parent’s room had a white ceiling with square tiles. I was sleeping in their room at the time, and when I woke up I started crying and calling for my mom because the tiles on her ceiling were shrinking, and some were getting too big. It scared the living crap out of me. I know it doesn’t sound terrifying, but years later it’s still hard to think about.
There’s not much else I recall about that, though I have recently been having some similar experiences.
I noticed it last year when I was staying at my grandparent’s cabin over the summer. It was late at night, pitch black in my room, I was laying on my side with my hands kind of in front of my face. What happened I can only guess is what a panic attack feels like. For some reason, my brain was FREAKING out because my hands weren’t the right size. I couldn’t catch my breath, I couldn’t look in the direction of my hands (it was too dark to see them but it didn’t matter), my chest hurt from my heart beating so fast. Then it stopped, and I just laid there breathing with my ears ringing. It took me an hour to get to sleep.
Now, months later, I’ll get weird episodes where I’ll be driving and a raindrop will hit the window. A single tiny drop of rain on a huge sheet of glass. I’ve almost had to pull over because I was so close to having a breakdown.
At night when I let my dog outside, a porch light attracts bugs and one lands on the glass door. It ruins my whole night.
A tiny ray of sun peeking through the blinds, a huge building next to a tiny tree, a little/or really big cloud in a big blue sky.
It can be a totally normal day, I haven’t had an episode in a while, and then something triggers ‘it’.
I don’t know what to do! Is this just something I’m going to have to deal with from now on? Should I go see someone about it? Does anyone have a similar experience? Is this even a phobia?
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