Entomophobia is getting progressively worse

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been petrified by any kind of bug. Anything – ants, roaches, centipedes, mosquitoes, flies, hornets, bees – EVERYTHING. Any time I think I feel a bug on me, I spaz out. Any time I see any kind of flying bug, I run and scream like a little girl (I’m a 20 y/o male).

For the past few months, there have been many nights where I’ve lost sleep due to seeing a bug before I go to bed. It drives me insane and there is absolutely no way I can stay in bed. I usually end up in my living room with all of the lights on, searching the internet about entomophobia for hours.

People always laugh or think I’m joking when I react the way that i do, but I can’t help it. I’ve spoken to a lot of people about this problem, but the only place I can find anyone who feels the same way as me is on the internet.

I’ve tried to trace my fear back to specific events in my past and I have 3 main events that i think have caused this phobia. When I was 7 or 8, I stepped in an ant hill with bare feet and got stung all the way up my leg and when I was 10, a wasp stung me on the earlobe. These events are things I think about on a weekly basis, any time a bug comes close to me.

The third event is quite interesting. When I was 14, I visited Kenya and we visited a small village where there were bugs EVERYWHERE. I wasn’t as scared of bugs back then as I am today, but one disgusting image sticks with me to this day.

There was a man, around the age of 60-80, who had flies crawling ALL OVER HIM. There were at LEAST 20 on his face alone, crawling on his eyes, in his nose and ears and he just sat there and let it happen. It was one of the most terrifying things I think I’ve ever seen (and I’ve seen some stuff). I KNOW I’m blowing this way out of proportion but I have no idea what to do. I’m so scared of bugs and I feel like they’re out to get me. It’s the dumbest thing, but I had to share this somewhere. Cheers.