Scopophobia or Scoptophobia is the fear of being watched or stared at. It originates from the Greek word ‘skopein’ which means “to look or to examine” and phobos meaning “deep dread or aversion”.
The degree to which a person suffers from Scopophobia can vary: some are so affected by it that they are afraid of “being watched” all the time. Still others may be Agoraphobic in that; they refuse to step outdoors as they feel they would be stared at by strangers (which makes them want to flee or hide).
In either case, the phobics experience a full blown panic attack at the mere thought of being looked at or stared at by people. Many sufferers of Scopophobia are also known to deal with other social or specific phobias and, when left untreated, these conditions greatly worsen over time.
Causes of Scopophobia
- It is common for patients of epilepsy or Tourette’s syndrome (a neurological condition wherein the sufferer has tics or vocalizations etc) suffer from the fear of being watched or stared at. However, compared to Scopophobia stemming from social/anxiety disorders, epilepsy-triggered phobia usually makes one fearful of experiencing an epileptic fit in a bus, train or other public places where everyone would look at them. Also, another difference in epilepsy triggered Scopophobia is that it usually affects middle aged people, while anxiety related Scopophobia affects younger patients.
- Children who have experienced a traumatic event such as public ridicule for some reason are more likely to develop the fear of being stared at. Others having a physical deformity due to an accident or an illness are naturally more likely to be stared at and could develop the fear over time.
- People with other social disorders like stage fright, fear of public speaking etc could also develop
- In general, individuals with low self esteem or those having some self developed body image are likely to suffer from this fear. Naturally, having a small amount of social fear is considered reasonable. However, in extreme Scopophobia, the fear tends to grow out of proportion compared to the actual triggers or risk factors.
- Autism and Schizophrenia are other existing disorders that are likely to cause the excessive fear of being watched or stared at.
Symptoms of fear of being watched
Like other specific and social phobias, Scopophobia can cause several physical and emotional symptoms in the sufferers.
- Most phobics avoid experiencing situations that would render them susceptible to being watched by strangers.
- They are highly likely to be depressed having little or no social life.
- Traveling on buses and trains can be traumatic for them.
- The mere thought of being watched makes them want to flee or hide. Shaking, sweating, having a dry mouth, experiencing thoughts of death or dying are some common emotional and physical manifestations of the phobia.
- Blushing is another common symptom of the fear of being watched. To make matters worse, the phobic might also be afraid of blushing (Erythrophobia) and knowing well that s/he has no control over this can cause him to further experience physical symptoms like heart palpitations, nausea etc.
- Towards the beginning, the person might only be afraid of being watched by unknown people/strangers. However, when left untreated, this phobia could eventually lead one to even completely stop participating in family activities or refuse to meet trusted friends or relatives.
- Avoiding activities and slowly withdrawing completely from public eye are the most common symptoms of Scopophobia which could develop over the years.
Treating and overcoming Scopophobia
The fear of being watched can be very self-limiting causing the phobic to withdraw inside oneself completely. If this is the case with you or a loved one, it is best to seek therapy. Various options are available today; popular ones include Hypnotherapy, Cognitive behavior therapy and NLP or neuro linguistic therapy etc. Most of these options can help get to the bottom of the fear to reduce anxiety or panic attacks experienced due to the phobia.
In either case, the phobic must also feel the urge to help him/herself. S/he could make use of self help techniques like meditation or positive visualizations etc, which can slowly, but surely, help overcome one’s Scopophobia once and for all.
valerie says
I think I have this. I am terrified of being watched, doing anything and everything. I already have driving anxiety, but if I have to drive with someone else in the car, it is an absolute nightmare. I once worked in a restaurant, and people thought I was so weird because I would shake like crazy walking through the restaurant and feeling people’s eyes on me. I sometimes feel like I am walking really strangely, and I sometimes feel like I am talking weirdly or not pronouncing words correctly, even though I know I can speak just fine. Once I start worrying about it, it affects how I speak or walk due to being so hyper-focused on it. I sometimes have an eye tic as well, where I start to blink when I get nervous uncontrollably. Ugh, I hate being me sometimes.
Kai says
I’ve been trying to figure out if I have this. Being around so many people and people I don’t know makes me anxious and gives me the feeling that I’m being looked at even if I’m not. I’m uncomfortable with how I look, and I feel like if people are looking at me, they’re judging me.
Lilly W says
I don’t know if I have this phobia, but it sounds like it. I hate being looked at, I can’t stand people staring at me, and I am constantly afraid that someone might be watching me. In public, I feel like everyone is staring at me and judging me and I just end up wanting to go home. I don’t stand or sit near windows because someone could be looking through. I don’t even feel like I have privacy in my own backyard. I also worry that someone could be watching or listening to me with cams/mics so I tend to put new-to-my-home things in a locked box for a while until I feel that they are safe to be in my home, the same thing with electronics, they go in a box and if I have to use them, I put tape on the camera and mic. I don’t know what could have caused this possibly-phobia but I don’t remember having any traumatic experiences as a child, but I do have anxiety. I also suffer from many reoccurring nightmares about things like kidnapping and things of that sort. I’ve had them since I was about eight and don’t know what could have caused them. My parents have never divorced or anything, and I haven’t gone through anything all that bad, at least, not that I remember. So I don’t know if I have Scopophobia but if this sounds like something else I’d love to hear what, it’s hard to be so scared all the time.
Tom Zarafa says
I have the same but I had a traumatic experience when I was at high school. My best friends ended up bullying me so I would avoid them. Then I would walk to the park, instead of going to school, and I would sit on a bench and people walking past would think I was such a lone loser. That was over 16 years ago, now I’m 30, and it’s so hard to get rid of it.
Zarah says
I get so awkward when I am alone in public. I feel like the people around me are watching me and judging me. I try to act normal but panic attack strikes. I start to shiver from head to toe and freak out. My heart beats so fast. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t even know the reason why I’m having this phobia.
Daniel says
Also me.
Emily says
I’m Emily. I don’t know if what I’m going through is Scopophobia or if it’s something else completely. Anyways, I’m 15 and the event where I developed this problem was two years ago. I don’t know where to go for help. I don’t even really think anything would help me. I don’t know, I’m just that person where I feel like therapy would just be a waste of time for everyone, like it wouldn’t do anything. The scary part about all of this is that I feel like this will be something that stays with me. Something that will never go away and I’ll always feel like this every night.
Zarah says
You can just try going to a therapist first. If it doesn’t work that is different. But you should at least give it a try. People like me doesn’t even get the chance to visit a therapist because their family thinks only mad people do that.
Jamie Lee Jenkins says
I have this but with a trigger – being in a dark room. What type of medication is most useful for this because I also have social awkwardness.
Grace says
My fear is kind of like a sleep paralysis, when I am alone or it is dark I always feel like some sort of monster is standing at my doorway staring at me. I am fine with windows and being out in public. I am also always looking around me making sure no one is around. I get very scared, someone please reply and help me!
Gabriella loera says
Ok, maybe don’t think about them. Think about stuff that makes you grin or laugh. I like to think about the time I got to hold a chick in 1st grade. Or think about tomorrow. Like maybe some exciting plans. I feel the same way but also put your blanket over your head and lay on your side. Cover your eyes if needed. Maybe hug a pillow also or a stuffie. Or sleep with a pet. I like sleeping with my cat, knowing that another living being can protect me and stay by my side. I’m only in 5th grade, so don’t think I’m some adult.
Jackson says
I have the same problem. I always feel like I’m being watched and someone following me, but I can’t see in the dark so I am scared of going to bed sometimes. If I ever got sleep paralysis I’d have a heart attack.
Dawn says
You should pray to Jesus during these experiences and tell whomever or whatever it is to get out of your room or house in Jesus’ name and know that Jesus does have to power to do just that. I’ve done this, and I’ve experienced very similar things. Sometimes I say, in the name of the father and the son and the Holy Spirit, I command you to get out of here.
Andromeda says
Looking through the comments I’m extremely disturbed to find that most people only experience this at night I.e fear of people looking through windows at them in the dark. Whereas I experience this thing all the time. Unrelentingly. I thought this was normal?
Doesn’t everyone feel like people are watching and judging them while out in public? I can’t leave the house without prepping myself for it: people staring at me because I look weird. I guess that’s what you get for being 4”9” in a country where the average height is 5”7. It’s my fault for being born freakishly short. I’m a 21yr old woman, I’m a uni student, yet people always mistake me for much younger, like 12-15. I can tell that strangers like shop clerks and stuff are trying to figure out “what I am”, I can see them sizing me up, not sure if I’m a child or just a freak. Well it’s the latter unfortunately.
All I want is to have a normal life: I want to have some friends, a significant other, a job. All the basic things in life that normal people get to have. But I can’t. Because of the way I look. I’ll never be able to change my height and I can’t live with that fact.
I’m an unemployed, useless, socially awkward recluse. Sure I’m studying at university, but anyone can do that. It’s easy to get into uni in Australia. It’s not productive and it’s not an achievement, nor an excuse to be unemployed, and yet I sit here at 21 and I’ve never had a job, because who would want to hire someone like me?
I’m so lonely and frustrated with myself for not being good enough and not being able to change. I have thoughts of suicide more days than not.
Rarely leave my room these days let alone the house. I don’t know what to do.
Ahmed says
Hey, that’s normal. Why do you think your height is the problem. It’s not.
Humans are social beings. There might be a few insensitive friends around you who may have picked on you and as a result you went into hibernation. You must learn to ignore such people. Trust me, the majority of people do not care about looks, but manners. The way you deal with people makes the difference, not the color, height or looks. Go out, join your friends, enjoy jokes, share feelings, ignore irrelevant stuff, think positive.
Regards
Ahmed
Mireya says
Hi I am 12 years old and I am 5”4 and a half. I thought being afraid of being watched was normal so I searched it up. I found this website and read it was a phobia. I do get stage fright, hate being stared at for a long time, and I have a fear of someone watching me while I sleep.
I read that the more you think of being watched you think of death. When I was 8 I always got scared of dying. I sweat when I am being stared at or pressured.
ZipZapZepplin says
I’m only afraid when it’s dark.
Mystery says
I am afraid of being teased or bashed by anyone. Because of my imperfections. I cannot tolerate being teased again because when i was a child I was always teased by my brothers and sister because of my defecating problem and also my lower grades in school. I hate being seen, judged, and specially being criticized by my ways. I have a very low self-confidence because of that.
ryan says
I came for answers and I’m not too sure because I only have the fear at night. Every night I dread the dark because I have panic attacks over the feeling of being watched from my window. I can’t have the curtains shut because I wouldn’t be able to see if someone was there, but then if they’re open, in my mind, all I can see is a face pressed against the glass staring at me.
Beth says
Omg same but for me it’s that I imagine someone is at my doorway just looking and yeah I can’t close the door because then I can’t see if anyone is there, same with me it’s just at night.
Cris McBee says
Same as you too but I fear it’s multiple places, such as the closet, doorway, window, or stairs.
Emily says
Yes, I feel like that too. Ever since I went to my friends sleep over (it’s only at night when I go to bed that I feel this way). I can’t ever not feel that someone is either watching me through my window, my doorway, or my closet. See, when I went to my friends party, I didn’t have this fear. Anyways, when I got there, my friend had already warned me that she had had peeping toms in the past. She said that they would come only on the weekends (usually on a Saturday). Lucky for me, it was Saturday. So, I’m just going to fast-forward to the part where I acquired this fear. My friend and a few other people, including me, were sitting on the floor in a group telling stories, and all of a sudden, we hear a noise outside. It was like someone or something tripped over something metal. We ignored it. Then, we heard a woman’s voice. A few moments later, we heard walking along with a quiet man’s voice. We started getting a little skeptical, so my friend gets up to go look out the window. She came back and said she saw nothing, but that the floodlight was on outside. That floodlight was motion censored. I remembered that my friend had told us that she had been having peeping toms. I started to panic a little, but I didn’t show it. About 30 minutes later, we hear more noises. This time the noises were closer to us. Then, not even 4 minutes later we heard knocking on the window. At that point I was terrified. I started having tears build up in my eyes. I tried to give it a reasonable explanation, but I couldn’t. A few moments later we heard more knocking, my friend got up to look out the window, but I pulled her back down. Oh, I forgot, my friends blinds had a broken piece. So anyone could look in. All of us were terrified. We started trying to cover up the window with anything that we could find. Even after we covered the window up we still heard the knocking. Anyways, about half an hour later the knocking stopped, and we were finally able to go to sleep. When we woke up my friend told us that her mom said that she checked the cameras and said that we had been watched that night. I am so scared of this, that I put a blanket over my window, and I always have my door shut, along with my closet door. But no matter what I do, I still feel watched at night.
Ahmed says
Hi, just wondering if you could select a few paintings/drawings/pictures/stuff you love/like and paste/place them in the windows/doors. So that whenever you look there you see your lovely stuff. Start thinking positive buddies.
Milajean says
I feel like I’m being watched all the time. The thing about me is that I’m not exactly afraid. It just makes me uncomfortable. Like I can never do anything abnormal because I’m being watched. Even when i’m completely alone in a room with no windows, my subconsciousness will tell me “don’t do anything stupid, someone’s watching.” I’ve had this since I was in like 5th or 6th grade. In the beginning, I always felt like I was being watched through windows. Then in middle school, I used to have drawings up on my wall and always felt like the drawings were watching me. Then it went to electronics and even though there’s no camera on the screen (like a TV screen), I’d still feel like I was being watched through there. Now, it mainly still revolves around the electronics, but even if there’s no electronics in the room, I’ll still feel like I’m being watched from the walls. I’m not really scared, but it affects my everyday life. I can never “act natural.” They say that your true self is who you are when no one is watching, but I don’t even know true self because I ALWAYS feel like someone is watching.
Ama says
This sounds like exactly what I go through on a daily basis as well. Since I was little I have always been nervous that someone was watching me through my air vents, or through open blinds when it is dark outside and I cannot see out. I still struggle with this every day and night and like you said, I am not openly “scared” but I am always thinking about it and just feeling overcome by it. When I have ever tried to talk to anyone about it, they can’t seem to understand and therefore don’t take it serious, but I have always wondered if there was something wrong with me to make me feel this nervous and anxious about it all the time. Sorry you feel this way as well but at least you know you are not the only one!
Emily says
This is exactly how I feel 24/7. Not with electronics all the time, but just in general. I really don’t feel like I can ever be myself.
Kaylin says
I feel exactly like this. I can never be myself, and none of my friends or family members understand me, and I’m afraid to tell anyone other than my mom because I don’t want my friends to think I’m weird. My everyday life, I’m uncomfortable because I always think someone is there, even when I know there isn’t. It seems to help with the lights off because I feel like “that someone” can’t see anything. Is this still the same thing?
Alex says
For me I’m actually a little more comfortable with larger crowds and when I’m alone or there’s only one person in the room I feel like I’m being judged and being watched, though if the crowd is too large it gets overwhelming.
Ahmed says
Let us decide that enough is enough. I am not doing anything wrong, so if someone is watching, let them watch. I do not care anymore. Be positive!
C says
After reading through all the comments, I found that most people only feel watched when they’re out and this only really described being watched while outside. Whereas, I feel watched no matter what. I cover all the cameras thinking that someone is watching me, I throw the teddy bears I have in the wardrobe thinking their beady eyes are actually cameras too, I can’t have my curtains open EVER because maybe there might be someone watching me that I can’t see, but no matter what I do and try, I always feel watched by nothing, almost as if there’s a hole in my room that I haven’t seen but someone is spying on me through the hole. When I’m outside I feel the same, I feel anxious to meet new people because what if they’re the ones who are watching me? I’ve also struggled feeling like this since I was in year 5/6 but it wasn’t that bad when I was younger. Now I’m 16 and I don’t know what to do. I wouldn’t mind meditating but I feel uncomfortable doing that because no matter where I go I feel watched.
Jack says
When I was a little girl I would see people through the window as I was just 5 years old. I am 18 now and I just had a panic attack because the kitchen blinds were open and I could see the window. Feeling like I’m being watched through the windows is terrifying. I only got this when i see through a window at night. I am perfectly fine with giving a speech in front of people, in fact I am very social. I really want to know what it is. I’m sure it’s related to this condition.
kaja says
i’m not afraid of being looked at while in public or social settings, but i am nearly cripplingly afraid of people looking into my windows, especially at night. i’ve been scared of dark windows ever since i was a child. its to the point where i have heavy curtains over all my windows and i don’t open them, ever. even when i’m just sitting in my living room, i crouch down as much as i can on the couch so i can’t be seen by anyone i fear is looking into my windows. is this still scopophobia? or something else?
paris says
I have the exact same problem that’s why im on this page
Heaven says
I also have the exact same problem.
Ama says
I also have the exact same problems. Windows and air vents. Never been able to figure out specifically what it is.
Johnnie M Williams says
My husband has to let the shades down in our bedroom to get money out of his wallet for fear that neighbors or people walking down the street can see in our window. Our bedrooms are in the back of the house and our back yard is fenced in. It bothers me that I cannot open shades in our bedroom when he is at home. Even if he has to go to the bathroom and the shades in the bedroom across the hall are open he declares the neighbors can tell when he is using the bathroom. What kind of phobia is this?
Pragya says
I have something like this. I’ve cultivated this theory in my mind that someone is watching me all the time. The thing is, I know this person and this person changes according to me. For eg, if I’ve had a great convo with a friend on a phone, I’d have the feeling he’s watching me throughout the day through some high tech. I know how weird this sounds. I’m extremely extrovert and face this feelings mostly when I’m alone. This feeling leads me to act in ways I normally won’t, just to prove a point to the person who I think is watching me. For eg, I would literally name out everything I’m feeling just so that the person who I think is “watching” me would get to know of it.
Am I crazy? This scares me so much.
Adam C Kinder says
I too do exactly this… I wish I knew the answer…
Last night I carpeted a window off and talked out loud to my Sugar Glider about how we would be warmer tonight… It was all about someone being able to see in and me not able to see out…
Milajean says
This is very similar to what I feel except the part where I know the person. There’s no particular person but I just feel like there’s SOMEONE watching me. I also always have to explain myself outloud when I do something. The condition also limits my actions because I always feel like I’m being judged although I’m alone.
This grill says
You’re not alone. I have the exact same problem. Everyone talks about windows and i’m here like “oh well okay..” because i can’t relate. I feel really lonely.
Ray says
Everything you described fits perfectly to the way I feel as well. It terrifies me to think of what a professional would actually think this was. I have never talked to anyone about it due to the fear of being perceived as “crazy”, but yes, closets, air vents, bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, doesn’t matter. Whoever is on my mind is “there” somewhere with me. I don’t feel comfortable eating a huge bowl of ice cream in my bed with the fear of being judged. It takes over everything.
Steve Gamblin says
Six months into starting work at the age of 16, I had a major panic attack in front of 25 work colleagues. This was 1966 when panic attacks certainly must have existed but had not been identified, categorized or named. Not knowing what had happened to me, my reaction was deep shame and embarrassment. I had already left home and had no one to discuss this with and in any case, so deep was my shame, I automatically ruled out ever revealing to anyone what had happened. Besides which, I had absolutely no frame of reference to even start a conversation about it.
For years and years my life was assort of living hell. I went from being an outgoing, gregarious child with dozens of friends and interests to a virtual recluse, terrified of going out, walking down the street, boarding busses, and attending social gatherings of any kind. This became my norm for so many years – three decades in fact – that I eventually forgot how I’d ended up this way, so deep was everything buried. In 1992, I was watching a documentary about Howard Hughes when it was mentioned that Hughes had a phobia of being looked at. I literally catapulted out of my seat, instantly realising that this was exactly what was wrong with me. Immediately I sought help from my GP, who put me on beta blockers. This allowed me for the first time in over 30 years to go to parties and feel almost normal. The cost of medicating the symptoms, however, was severe headaches and eventually I underwent 6 months of therapy that finally got rid of the problem once and for all. Nowadays, at the age of 68, I retain a ‘conditioned response’ to social situations, or situations that would have triggered a panic attack, but this anxiety is so mild compared with a panic attack, I am able to function normally and deal with it. My message to anyone with this condition (Scopophobia) is don’t suffer in silence – seek help. Nowadays all the help you need is out there – you only have to ask.
Littlescorpio says
Thank you for this!
It’s so good to know that I am not alone in this..lol that sounds a bit wrong..but all the same, I am glad I am not alone.
I have been suffering from this phobia or whatever you call it since I turned 15 (I am 17 now)
So..it begins with me going to high school and getting bullied because I am a little too healthy (or fat) to fit in a class full of lean and fit students. It has always been the biggest obstacle in my life and I feel like I can’t ever leave that behind because it always stays with me when I go out (very rarely) I feel like people are staring at me and I get all breathless and sweaty just thinking about it.
I can’t even eat at public places and I feel like it’s getting worse day by day, I can’t look anyone in the eye for like even a few seconds it makes me so nervous as if the person infront of me is seeing all my flaws and I just have to break the stare.
I hate it.
I hate not being able to go out with a happy and carefree mind, I hate not being able to do things everyone around me is doing..
I just wish it would stop.
Heaven says
Im also 17 and i feel this very much. Im overweight a bit while almost everyone else is in shape. I constantly feel im being watched because of it and there is nothing i can do except panic and try my best to stay hidden. I also have the problem of not being able to look into someones eyes for more than a few seconds because they will see the real me.
Helga says
Yes, I suffer from this as well, but in actual fact a lot of people actually do watch and judge continuously I am sorry to say, I actually get this indoors as well a being outside. The best that you people can do is to stop obsessing. Keep well occupied and stop obsessing about yourself, easier said than done though, in many cases, unfortunately.
Helga says
Yes everyone,its true,there are more of us out there..
Carly Olzard says
The fear of being watched can be very self-limiting causing the phobic to withdraw inside oneself completely. If this is the case with you or a loved one, it is best to seek therapy. Various options are available today; popular ones include Hypnotherapy, Cognitive behavior therapy and NLP or neuro linguistic therapy etc. Most of these options can help get to the bottom of the fear to reduce anxiety or panic attacks experienced due to the phobia
Nadine Salakov says
I’m a black British 34 year old woman who has struggled with gender issues, i’m a Christian and for a long time now i’ve finally accepted that God made me female, i have extremely short hair (almost bald) i wear men’s baggy clothes – example hoodies, sweatshirts, baggy t-shirts, and jogging bottoms – all men’s clothes which i order from the men’s section on Amazon. I hate being stared at in public, i know that everyone stares at everyone, and most people don’t care if they’re being stared at, but unfortunately i care when it happens to me, even when i ignore them i can’t help but see them stare at me at the corner of my eye, it bothers me a lot, every time i go out i have my big over-ear headphones on, i wouldn’t mind if they looked at my headphones or at my dog or at my style of clothes, but no – they ignore all of that and stare straight in my eyes, it’s horrible, i was bullied when i was a 6 year old child, these older girls at school would bully me and this other girl by walking towards us and trapping us in a corner and just staring at us without saying a word, i feel that this might be connected to my hatred of being stared at now as a grown woman, plus as an aromantic asexual who is still recovering from the times years ago when random men in the street would try to talk to me, maybe i’m afraid that will happen again, and maybe i still have gender issues which doesn’t help, but one thing i do know is that men won’t try to chat me up (flirt with me/try and strike up a relationship) due to me being a strong in faith Christian, God protects me, i’ve lived in my new neighbourhood since 2014 and no man has tried to talk to me thank God, i think the clothes that i wear also helps to prevent them from talking to me, i wear these clothes because it’s my style, not for any other reason. Anyway as a Christian i don’t think this problem should be labelled as a phobia, the people who stare are the ones with the problem, so they should have a label for them, why are we getting labelled?! I’m thankful that i have my mum in my life and that she is very supportive, she walks my dog and takes my dog to the park when i can’t do it, i pray for God to help me not care about the staring, that’s all i can do, i need to think about God 100% when i go outside and then i won’t notice these irrelevant strangers staring at me, but it is difficult. I used to call this problem “anxiety problems”, but i prefer to now call it “an issue”, or simply “a problem”. If anyone sees this i encourage you to start believing in Jesus and start praying, He is the only hope and He can work miracles.
J. Aig says
I have to talk when walking (talking to myself) because I feel everyone’s staring at me I hide behind what I’m saying to myself just to dodge from their stare. I need help in stopping this because I feel awkward talking to myself.
Bill says
I too suffer from scopophobia and used to blush like crazy from eye contact and had super high blood pressure back when I was a child. I still find it extremely difficult to look in the eyes of my parents, close friends, classmates, teachers, or literally everyone that knows me. I think it runs in my family and that’s how I got it. To help treat it, I have just started beta blockers to help with my blood pressure when making eye contact with someone and will try self phobia therapy on myself and see how it goes. Anyhow, just want to leave this comment out there in the void of the internet to say that your not alone if you are suffering from this phobia.
Faith vd Westhuizen says
I am 62 years old and have been struggling to overcome this problem since my early 20’s, so that I can get my driver’s licence. Just having an instructor seated next to me is like “Fear Factor”, I keep thinking of the person “what is he/she thinking about me, etc” and I must concentrate on my driving as well, of course. The thought wells up in me bring tears to my eyes, cold sweaty hands etc.
I am getting desperate now as I need to get my licence for when I retire in just under 3 years.
Strange thing is that I don’t get these feelings when I at times stand up front and address people or when I acted in school plays – I’m fine to do this. People knowing this fact (and myself) can’t then understand why I can be so calm during these performances which many people find nerve wrecking, but anxious with a driving instructor, where most persons were ok with driving lessons.
I would really appreciate help.
Eve says
Have you tried telling the person you are with that you have this issue in order to prepare them for it. I think you would have less fear laying it out on the table.
Amber says
I furiously blush when I’m the center of attention and end up stuttering if I have to talk to people I’m not comfortable around. Now even people I am comfortable with in a group make me blush when they focus on me. One-on-one seems okay though I still blush if I say something awkward.
Yolz says
I suffer from scopophobia as well. I prefer being alone or with my family where I go. I cant go anywhere alone, im even afraid to go get a taxi alone. I shake when I have to walk alone, i will find means to get someone to walk with me or get a lift. I avoid going out with friends, I avoid passing people in groups, I avoid being around crowds. I cant present in front of people, i’d rather cry than do it. I feel so boring and uncomfortable in public. I feel like I bore everyone because I dont do what everyone else is doing. Im a good person with a good heart, I love to smile but people who are very close to me would know. I dont have confidence in anything including greeting people from a distance. I just dont know what to do to overcome this. I’ve been like this since childhood. Im now 28, I have two kids and im married. I went through therapy once but it left me worse.
John says
Yolz – sadly to say the least – I’m the same – What to do about this though??? Looking at definitions it is not paranoia or psychosis – no-one’s especially trying to do us harm – I know I was brought up to believe parents were watching over me (sic) from indoors whilst I was out playing on very rare occasions. father was and is a narcissistic monster – like a malevolent devil in disguise – I know as a kid I extrapolated the belief of being observed by my unseen parents from behind the net curtains – I was told this by them explicitly at the time – to other kids out playing i.e. their parents observing them and therefore me?
If my parents had been proper loving and ‘normal’ this belief of being watched over (checking you are being ‘good’ not misbehaving/taking risks etc could have stayed with me in a positive light – however they were NOT normal – and the legacy renders me such that I feel the focus of critical unwarranted staring and attention (from the parents!?) of everyone when out even to this very day and every day.
It is not psychotic but it is ‘crazy’ in it’s way And I feel *****d(swear word goes here).
I’m recently off work.
Got lovely immediate family of my own.
Fear for paying the mortgage and some debt.
Fear for job.
Fear for mental health.
and ofcourse
Fear going out (unless in a car or green/non urban space)
Very limited.
No social life.
I’ve taken to getting up at 0400 and watching dawn break to boost my mood and going out (twice now) between 05:30 & 06:00
But couldn’t do it today for fear of being watched.
What to swear word do?
The author of ‘narcissism revisited’ name escapes me as names always do and others on you tube channels with their videos on rebuilding a life away from the narcistic emotionally controlling, tyrannical, monster of a father figure (sic) their videos help – but what the hell.
John G says
Hello Yoltz,
This is my second reply my 1st didn’t make it past moderators for some reason ? Maybe this will not either?
The first reply was focused on myself in sympathy or empathy for you.
This reply is different as I have made real progress overcoming the scopophobia which I believe lied behind my agoraphobia.
So Dear Yoltz I am wondering if you had a narcisstic figure in your life to leave you so without confidence and self belief? Maybe it was a partner or a parent but someone who perhaps unbeknownst to you was and still is because they don’t change a narcissist i.e. a complicated harsh person who would put you down maybe out of the blue or all the time, a person you cannot ‘argue’ with or have a point of view with, someone who was always right even when wrong in your case. A toxic controlling figure.
If you can relate to this or other readers then there are now loads of youtube help and sharing videos out there : Spartancoach I think one is called, and another who wrote the book narcissism revisted and others.
An excellent video to help you get better is ’10 tips for improving self esteem’ by stopanxiety.
Telling yourself you are ‘amazing, wonderful, or awsome’ you know something to reflect the fact you are a lovely human being ‘I’m a good person with a good heart’ you mentioned – something to say aloud to yourself e.g. in the shower or wherever is not crazy – it is actually healthy and can offset negative messages in one’s upbringing.
Best of luck
It can be done and I know – I’m doing it (only as of the past few days after years) – going out whether happy/confident (YES!) or not so much.
If you get some good encouragement from the multimedia e.g. you tube and maybe some counselling you Can heal your own heart and begin to find yourself centred in yourself such that you won’t care if other people are looking at you.
There is a world of difference between feeling centred in yourself as above verses feeling at the centre of attention whilst perhaps non-centred and even empty.
Peace.
John G
John G says
UPDATE
I had to come back here because although I’ve escaped Hell after years it doesn’t take a genius to know there are guys/gals still out there in Hell FFFpheww what can I do to help ?
(For hell read agoraphobic/fear of being watched Hell and it can really be just that.)
Answers
I’m going to be uncharacteristically brief and to the point.
1. Google Palouse Mindfulness.
2. Follow the free course upto and including week four.
3. Be compassionate to yourself when out – i.e you want to escape into a shop or up an aisle in a shop or suck sweets or do something to feel some relief BUT are screwed out of some macho bullshit that that would be weak? Your only repeating/perpetuating a form of abuse as bad as an outsider messing with you. Repeat – BE compassionate to yourself. It is not cowardice you are giving yourself a break. Even a macho man like Clint Eastwood would take a drink if he was dying of thirst. Just be kind to yourself e.g. when out.
4. As you get better which you will you will be stronger. – still practice self compassion.
Here’s a biggy.
5. After Palous, AFTER Palous look up Sadaguru the source of spiritual wisdom slowly spilling in over to the WEST.
A. If you are a westerner you may be in the wrong place so to speak to be receptive that’s why try Palous first (a Western version).
B. With meditation looking in you will be better placed to look out at the world having connected with yourself – YOU never went away you just got lost somehow. Time to find you again.
C. You will know your better when you are less bothered about folks looking at you You look out at them if you want YOU have your own concerns so why would you especially? They have their concerns or should have So why would they be especially looking at you? (And if they are you will care less)
Final note : Whatever you may think and feel now (e.g Hell/suicidal even) Follow the steps 1-5 above and I’m certain you will be less, far less bothered about who is looking where – you will be to busy living life.
Best Wishes
J.G.
Jodie says
John, what a dear sweet, kind, caring, generous person you are.
Anil says
I want to know how a person can overcome from scopophobia? Do you have any techniques for scopophobia ?
Ahdriam says
Ha thats so funny even when I eat with my family I try to put a large pot in front of me or cover my eyes with my hands (while trying to make it seem natural) because I can’t stand anyone looking at me especially from a short distance.
But I also don’t like being around others, I probably have half the phobias in this site.
pedro says
When the teacher calls me in class and im gonna say something, i feel like everybody looks at me to laugh when i say something wrong.