The fear of change or changing things is called Metathesiophobia. It is often linked with Tropophobia which is the fear of moving. The origin of the word Metathesiophobia comes from Greek ‘meta’ meaning change and phobos meaning fear.
This specific phobia can reduce one’s will to live; Metathesiophobes often feel that they have no control over their lives owing to constant changes. S/he tends to live in the past and may also be depressed. Their phobia makes them unwilling to move, to progress or to change anything from routine. This can severely impact one’s professional and personal lives.
Causes of Metathesiophobia
The fear of change is evolutionary in humans. Since times immemorial, man has liked routine. Our internal predispositions (heredity and genetics) teach us to resist change mainly to ‘always feel in control’. But the normal fear of change becomes a full blown phobia when it is irrational, persistent and very intense.
Personal emotional distress caused by many life changes can trigger such a fear of change. A child who has experienced moving multiple times in short periods of time or the death of a family member or loved one might also have experienced changes in financial situations or lifestyle owing to these changes. This can lead him/her to resist change of any type even in adulthood.
Fear of being unable to adapt, fear of meeting new people or fear of environmental changes can also deter one’s adaptability. Insecurity and guilt are other common emotions behind Metathesiophobia.
Symptoms of the fear of change phobia
Benjamin Franklin once said “When you are finished changing, you are finished”.
As stated before, the fear of change is a natural survival instinct ingrained in humans. It does not make us mentally sick; it only makes us more humans. However, in case extreme Metathesiophobia, life can become very difficult. It can negatively impact one’s professional and/or personal lives. Like many other phobias, Metathesiophobia is also accompanied by psychological and physical symptoms:
- Thought of change or adapting to new environment may lead to a full blow panic or anxiety attack. The phobic may experience a few or all of the following symptoms: (1) heart palpitations, (2) rapid or shallow breathing, (3) shaking/trembling, (4) sweating, (5) nausea or gastrointestinal distress, (6) inability to form words, (7) dry mouth, (9) thoughts of death, choking, and extreme dread.
- Avoidance of change is another symptom of Metathesiophobia. The person suffering rejects everything new. He creates his ‘comfort zone’ and is unwilling to come out of it. He prevents introducing anything new to achieve this goal.
- For avoiding change, s/he may go to great lengths, break ties, tell lies or make excuses. This can affect his/her social, personal and professional life.
- Often the phobic is aware that his/her fear of change is irrational. However he/she is unable to overcome it.
Overcoming Metathesiophobia
Consciously re-learning new behavior to overcome the association that “change is bad” is effective, though difficult.
- The root of Metathesiophobia is deeply embedded in one’s psyche. To trace the roots, one can undergo hypnotherapy sessions. These can help the individual face the source of his anxiety and relearn or erase negative thoughts associated with it.
- Once the roots of the anxiety are traced, one can also use gradual exposure to changes: this can slowly help one break away from the association between change (stimulus) and the reaction to it (response). Gradual desensitization of this sort is very effective in making the individual feel more in control when faced with a change.
- Neuro linguistic programming and behavior therapies can also help overcome Metathesiophobia.
- Group therapy, talk therapy, writing down negative and positive thoughts etc are some other techniques that can be used for rationalizing one’s fear.
If you suffer from the fear of change or Metathesiophobia, note that it is neither a mental illness nor a sign of weakness. Many people suffer from this phobia but the key is to accept change as part of life and, if need be, seek out therapy to guide one through difficulties faced during the time of change.
Christian says
Hi, I’m a teenager and I think I have the fear of change. I’m terrified by things changing or me losing control over things, and every time I think about my life changing in any way or if anything changes about someone I love, I’ll cry for hours or even days. The change can be good or bad, I’ll still cry. It often throws me into a depression which I’ve honestly had enough of. I’d like to stop this fear cause it’s all pain.
Colleen Thompson says
Christian, change is scary. It’s ok not to like change. We all fear it to a certain degree, although some people try to hide their fears. They think it makes them look weak. We all fear things like looking weak or bad in front of others. We fear losing control. Change is just part of life. This world keeps revolving and evolving, even if we don’t like it. The best thing is to talk to a teacher, pastor, or another adult you feel safe and comfortable talking to about this. Most schools have counselors. Everything is confidential. Just know that you are not alone. A lot of kids try to hide their fears. You have that part beat. You acknowledge it, even if you do not want everyone to know about it. Hiding emotions leads to depression and anxiety and allows things to build up in our minds. The teen years are a rough time for everyone to go through. You just need to find someone older and wiser to discuss things with. Best of luck to you, and hang in there. Pretty soon, you’ll be advising some younger kid!
Veronica says
Hi! I’m 13 years old and I have a fear of changes. When I buy something I always have second thoughts if it was the right thing to buy. Or when we moved to a new house I cried for 2 days out (I always do that when we move out). Whenever I go on vacation I have this feeling in my stomach. I hope I can overcome this fear.
Abhi says
It is ok to have second thoughts, but only if we buy that thing and use it, we know if it was the right thing or not. And you must accept that we can’t always be right and it is ok to be wrong. We can learn from that and be prepared for future problems that we face.
Annika says
Hello everyone. I am someone who is experiencing this (as most of you), but have only recently realized how severe mine is. From 2nd-5th grade, I had a best friend, and we were basically inseparable. We would always talk during school, rode the bus together, and played together after school since we lived nearby to each other. In 6th grade (mid-late 2018) I had some kids in my homeroom I thought were really cool. I wanted to be friends with them and eventually became friends. It only called to me in early 7th grade that I had abandoned my best friend. I was his only friend for 4 years and I completely left him in the dust. My depression and guilt was overwhelming. Before I had a fear of change, it was extreme but didn’t impact my life very much, if that makes sense. I was afraid of my teachers changing their classroom and changing lockers, as if that would change their teaching style or the school itself. I was afraid of my friends changing their hairstyles and clothes as if that would also change their core personality. This guilt with my friend was what really tipped me over the edge. It’s been about half a year since I have gotten over the guilt, and I lived with it for more than a year. My depression hasn’t gone away, and I have panic attacks and breakdowns about growing up and going to high school.
Thomas says
I understand this. I used to have friends that I couldn’t see myself without, and now we rarely talk. This happens, and the guilt is hard to deal with. The best thing I’ve done is to try talking to that friend again every now and then, and talk to them more and more as time goes on until you rebuild that friendship.
Daz says
Hi all. I am someone who has done some fairly adventurous things but I am generally quite scared of change to my safety zone, I guess I can’t surrender to becoming self-sufficient and the struggles and joys that come with this. I discovered this phobia randomly but it resonates with me a lot. I was shocked at how little there is about it – maybe because this also could be part of more generalized anxiety disorders.
Anonymous says
I’ve rented the same house for 12 years and for the first time have nightmare roommates who are slowly making me insane. I’m trying to branch out to consider buying a place, but even meeting with a realtor causes extreme anxiety, and I am so happy to go back to my space and escape having to think about changing anything. I don’t know how I’m ever going to move out of this place.
Laura says
I always knew that I feared change but the last years it has gotten worse. Reading this is kind of relieving knowing that I am not crazy. Whether I cut my hair a little too short or have to buy a new car my heart pounds and my stomach clenches. I cant sleep at another place as I freak out and want to go home. As kid this was labeled as homesick but even when I went with my parents I bursted out in tears and needed to go home. I am 24 now and I know that I need to move out soon. I feel like I am ready now however I know it’s because I am still safe in my own home, all that’s familiar until it’s actual time and I will break down. Being Highly Sensitive and having this huge change of fear makes me stay rooted where I am. Talking about feelings is not something I easily do as I know they wont understand. I too, need to get over this because it makes life more difficult.
Adam Alexander says
Hi Laura. I hope you’re doing ok. My name is Adam and I also suffer from the same issues and have done since a child – I’m 29 now. I have a deep sense of fear and extreme anxiety when dealing with change or not dealing with something that needs to be changed in life. It’s a horrible feeling and gets in the way with every day life. I hope you get the right help.
Daz says
Yeah I am in a similar boat. I’ve got to move out of the family home. My family support bubble is quite fragile (potentially part of the cause?) and I have this extreme fear of my reality and identity being destroyed if I have to become 99% self sufficient. I know change will lead to growth but at the same time all of the scenarios in my head (including the insane rent prices where I live) lead me to conclude the future is totally pessimistic. At the same time I tell myself I need to take it one step at the time but my mind won’t let me. I haven’t concluded I’ve got this fear but I suspect I may do.
Faith says
It’s really hard to live this way. Just a little change scares me, talk more of bigger changes that can affect my life.
Alex Chew says
I once had a mental breakdown because my parents tried to move my nightstand to the other side of the room.
Brook says
Ever since 6th grade I have been afraid of change. I would cry over little things. For example, I cut my hair short and then I cried for days because I felt like I was a new person and not the same anymore. I hold on to memories too much and don’t like to try new things.
Taylor says
Ever since seventh grade when I hit my lowest point so far in my life I have feared what was to come. Since seventh grade (twelve years old) I have barely changed. I dress the same and I still wear my hair the same because I fear what might happen if I do it any differently. I’m currently in eleventh grade (sixteen years old) and I can’t bring myself to look into college courses, or literally anything related to college. I recently got my class schedule for school and although I want to change my courses to something different, I seriously can’t bring myself to go in and change them. When my dad tried to practice driving with me, I seized up and couldn’t. I’ve moved a total of eight times in my life. From when I was 10-13 I had moved 6 times. My family split and I nearly lost my dad to suicide. My grandfather recently died in a car accident, too. I lost friends and loved ones and I tend to live in the past a lot. I find myself saying a lot “what would my younger self say,” or things like “would my younger self do this?” If the answer is no to the latter, I don’t do it. Like researching college. Of course my ten year old self wouldn’t look up Fire science courses in college, so therefore why should I? That’s my mindset and I absolutely hate myself for it.
Anonymous says
This probably sounds stupid, but I didn’t want to read how to get over this fear because I’m scared that will change how I think and I just don’t want anything to change! I also probably will sound really self centered, but I just want to stay the best, the nicest, the happiest, the person who is good at everything. But I’m not, of course not! That’s impossible, but a lot of people think I am and I’m worried that if they realize I’m a fraud everyone will hate me! Obviously people know that I’m not perfect, but I’m just so scared! Chorus is like my safety zone. There, I’m the best, and there are people who are also good but I’m just as good. But today I had a voice crack and another girl sang the part I had been singing (since we were switching off) and then the teacher started praising her the way she used to praise me. I’m probably just overreacting but it’s making me realize how insecure my spot in life is. One mistake and everything could go down the drain! I could easily just be replaced! And I hate knowing that sooo much!
Erina says
Hi I am 21 year-old woman. I’m not extremely afraid of changes. But every time someone important to me changes, I tend to stay away from them. I tend to neglect and let go of them. Like when my boyfriend got elected as a councilor, I felt like he was no longer the nerd I liked. I broke up with them. Or when my best friend passed the board exam, I felt like she’s become so far away from me. I ignore her calls and emails.
I’m not sure if this is phobia. I like something so much right now, but it’s changing slowly..and I want to continue liking it but I don’t know how. It’s driving me crazy. It makes me feel sad everything someone/something changes, to the point I can’t focus at work and I just end up lying on bed at home. I start to rebel against them too, doing things they don’t like. etc.
Daniel Balint says
I identify with some of the comments above. I have fought change most of my life. I tried to move to a nicer home with my wife, but I freaked out. I had a bad experience with real estate years ago. I am now 72. My upbringing was unstable. I would do anything if I could change this behavior. Please Help.
Derren says
I guess the key is to acknowledge it’s not too late. You’re older now, so what do you have to lose! Us younger people feel we have our future to worry about. I know it’s hard but we get one life, might as well stop giving an F and just having fun!
Karen says
Hi I’m 16 years old and am terrified of the changes that are going to happen in my life. Since the end of 2014 I’ve been thinking that i don’t want to grow up and that i want everything to continue to be as it is. These episodes impacted me for whole month but I got better about it during my school year in 2015. Then i went on holiday again at the end of 2015 and as expected when I came back from my holiday I started uncontrollably crying because I didn’t want to grow up. I didn’t want anything to change and i wanted my parents and brother to stay with me forever. Like the last time the following year 2016 healed me of many of these stresses but now I’m on another holiday and the reality that things are going to change is hitting me as hard as ever. I don’t want to go out, I don’t even want to eat sometimes. I’m still on holiday and it’s the first time the thoughts have been hitting me as hard as this. It’s been happening for the past month and I’m still thinking about it the first time I sleep and the moment I wake up. I want to get over this fear. I’ve been speaking to my mum about not wanting to grow older because I want everything to remain the same as it is. She says I’m still young and shouldn’t be worrying about it, but it still scares me to know that one day I’ll have to get out of this comfort zone of mine. I’m terrified thinking about anything changing, please help Me
From a sincerely concerned teen
Anonymous 15-year old says
I’m a teen too feeling the same way you are. I don’t want to leave my home to go off on my own. My parents say the same thing as yours and I hope this feeling goes away when I’m college-age.
Kim says
Hey Karen, i can understand your feelings, as i myself am a person who did’t wanna grow up. At times i cry as i don’t want to grow older and i want thing to be the same as they are now..I want my family and friends to be with me forever like this..But you know what life is all about change.No matter how badly we want to stop time or control thing ,we can’t. So the best thing is to enjoy each and every moment of life.Staying happy and making people around us happy.
Leonie says
I am stuck in the same situation like you two guys. I am currently 15 years old and some months ago I started overthinking like everything and came to the point of not wanting to grow up. Whenever I think of it, I start crying. I can’t control this anymore. It makes me more than sad to know that my life is going to change a lot during the next years. But I don’t want it to. I just wanna stay in this situation- living with my family ect.- Sometimes I think I’m totally silly. All my friends are exited about their future and I’m just totally unhappy
Christina says
(You probably fixed this problem since you’re 18 now) I am 14 and I started tearing up looking at your comment because it is exactly what my problem is. I’m not depressed or anything but I feel like I always have anxiety, which only affects me at night. I start thinking about places I used to go to that I miss. When I was really little I was always scared of growing up which I still am, I don’t want to leave my parents I’m always scared but I don’t know what of, just anything that could happen that could probably mess up my usual life. And mostly highschool. I don’t want to do that, but 8th grade went by so fast and it’s soon to come by the end of 8th grade (two months) you might’ve solved your problem and if you have help me.
Lucy94 says
It’s almost three in the morning on a Sunday and I’m unable to sleep because about half an hour ago I suffered a panic attack/crying fit without really knowing why. My train of thought lead me to wonder “is the fear of change a symptom for something else or is it a thing of it’s own?”
Now I’m… here. Apologies in advance for a lengthy rant.
My mother told me ages ago that when I was a child, I would flip my burgers every time she rearranged the living room. I would cry and try to drag the heavy armchairs back where they were. A silly thing, I thought, except it hasn’t gone away at all. I’m over the phase of putting things “back where they belong”, but I still get really uncomfortable if, for example, a new piece of furniture makes it’s way to the house (a new 50in tv just came two nights ago).
I still live at home and just recently was given a sort of unfinished ultimatum from my mother: get a job before new year’s or else. Not sure what that else is supposed to entail. I’d been looking for a job anyway, not that she knew, and then I got one. It’s terrible and the boss intimidates me.
It’s change, that’s what it is. I needed to adjust my everyday schedule to… very unstructured schedule where I get my working hours a day in advance, which is just not on. Besides that, I really do need to move out. It shames me to still be under my mother’s roof at age 22 when both my younger siblings are out and she wants to get out of this flat too, but the thought of moving is brick-poppingly terrifying to me.
My boyfriend of four years who a month ago came out as a transsexual wants to go through the sex change. I don’t mind, I’m mostly bi anyway (another thing I just recently came to actively acknowledge) but… but. My beloved is going to change in a very fundamental way. He’s also been increasingly vehement on moving together, which is making me doubly freak out about moving. To another country, possibly.
Then there’s the lovely side bonus of social anxiety. Sales personnel. Authorities. Phone. Strangers who may come talk to me out on the bus stations. The need to possibly talk with several people in several offices about several things to get my head, life and crap together to unscrew my life.
All in a manner of a month.
I am also now sick, which means I need to most likely inform my boss that I won’t be coming in on monday and maybe tuesday, and then I realised that I’m not going to stay in that job for far longer. I’m going to quit, take out something that already got familiar enough, to go through -more- talking and changes during december.
I’m allowed to cry a bit, right?
Haley Bee says
i may only be 11 but you can cry all you want i have this too
Derek says
This was a wonderful article! I used it for a paper I’m writing
Krupa says
Hi,
I am at the age of 24 now and have lived in approximately 17 different house/apartments in 4 different countries.
I truly appreciate the amount of knowledge and experience I have gained from living in London, Dubai, Scotland and India however I tend to change things in the house all the time wherever I am as it feels cleaner and newer.
My mother tends to get really upset when I moved things around, like furniture.
I just like for her to live happily and comfortably with space and ease.
She seems to think we are going to move again but I assured her this is our last move.
My Father passed away in 2013 and so we left Dubai to come back to our family home in London.
Within Dubai we moved approximately 4 times.
My mother says she is getting old now and tired.
I told her that as usual, I will do everything.
I just want to make things perfect for her and de-clutter our emotions, everything my father has left behind.
Once I’ve completed moving the furniture and everything looks pretty, she’s fine however the process of moving things threatens her.
How can I help her understand that we aren’t moving again?
My sister and I vowed we aren’t moving out. She keeps saying that there’s no point doing anything because she is going to go soon. We keep telling her she isn’t going anywhere.
Her mother used to say the same thing to her to stop her from making positive changes in her home.
bh says
My parents moved very often in the country I lived a few years during childhood.
Then they got divorced.
Then we moved to my birth country.
Then I was grown-up and forced to move to my mothers place.
I think thats why I hate changed and dont want to get an own flat/house any day.
Its like the moving with the care in childhood and the divorce.
Couldnt keep friends had to move. Couldnt keep both parents they divorced.
Im in treatment. But not just for changes I havent spoken that out yet so much. I dont have panic attacks but I admit when I met a women at a coffee I never was before I got the heart palpitations.
I really have moments where I think: Well where do I want to go today. And I tend to repeat most of the places every week. Although I know its getting boring. But like said in the article: Comfort zone.
Its not always do avoid symptoms as I cant recall that I had that at places I attended more than one time and especially not when I chose them myself. But everything uncommon is a bit risky. And Im sometimes nervous and then decide to not visit the place I went to some months ago because of stress. Sometimes this decisions has got reasons, sometimes its really just to not leave the comfort zone.
I would however say I hate change. If I fear it I dont know, since theres good change too.
Deny D. Ritz says
Hi Jacob, I didn’t know there was a term for fear of change. It seems that, from your description, fear of change can become a clinical problem if the person fears change so much it affects their biology and psychology. I only know fear of change from as a ‘motivational’ challenge – never as a clinical condition. It has opened my mind. Thanks for writing this!
Sabrina says
I cry just reading these stories and comments. I hate change. I cry just thinking about it. I cry at least three times per day because of change. Help me.
Quinn says
I’m almost positive I have this phobia. My mom recently broke up with her long time boyfriend because of him cheating. Now, in a new house, I feel really depressed, my chest feels weird, and I’m shaking. I’m even staying in the bathroom so my mom doesn’t see me cry. We have lived in 5 houses now and have gone to 4 schools. (Now in high school, sophomore) The past maybe 2 months I have stayed with my dad since my mom was getting the new house renovated and bringing me to this new house not seeing my own mom in 2 months and getting into a new house has given me the greatest trouble. I need to fix this maybe I’m just overreacting. :(
Heather says
This has impacted my life to the point I can no longer function. Its caused problems between me and my family and I need help.
priya says
Hello, Is there a way to come out of this Phobia of change? I used to get deep depression in my childhood just by changing schools. Then going to any new place made me feel depressed and i left my studies out of my home town and came back. Then somehow I managed to study at a nearby college and complete education. In Job, i had an extreme fear of getting relocated. Luckily i got it very nearby. Then Once i switched my Job for hike, I was badly depressed with the new place and wanted to resign and come back. But my partner helped me 24*7 and i was able to regain myself in 2 months nearly. Now, I have lost my same partner after a relationship of 6 years and i am in the same situation of change in my life. I am afraid all the time. Sudden panic attacks at midnight or early mornings. I am not able to eat for days and days. Is there a way to overcome this phobia? I fear even if i move on from this situation, I will be captured in some other similar situation if life shows me any changes which is obvious. I want to end up this feeling of phobia of change without sleeping pills or anxiety medicines like i generally do now.
Raquel says
I didn’t think my fear of change was all that irrational until I got engaged for the second time in my life. Like the first time, the plans I had made were rational, reasonable and smart. It just made sense that moving with him and then purchasing a house together as a married couple would be the best course of action. But when I went through with it the first time, I had instant and severe regrets. I had moved to a different state for him and moved my job as well. I found so many reasons why it wasn’t the right decision and moved back home within days. I got my old apartment back and my old job and found reasons to break up with the guy. Now, 5 years later, I’m engaged to a new guy that I was absolutely crazy about and sure of…until I moved my things into his home and made the decision to prepare my own home for sale. I mean, I don’t even view him the same way anymore. Yesterday I was madly in love. Today, I have had thoughts of tossing the ring back at him and never speaking to him again. He’s been nothing but supportive and loving. I can’t even believe I could even change my mind like that about him. Last time, I thought it was because I was moving so far from my family and my home. But what is it this time? I’m only 20-30minutes from them. My place was about 20minutes away. I really do believe now that I have a problem with change, that I’ve always had a problem with it. It’s been holding me back from so many things. I’m ashamed to think of all the things now. I need help.
Bex says
I suffer from chronic depression and this hits home for me.
I get so afraid of change it makes me very sick. I hate the fact that my friends and family are growing old and limited.
I miss the past, mainly as a child where life seemed to feel more organized, loving and secure.
As a 31 year old adult, I constantly fear the thought of life without my family members, almost as if they have already passed and the pain has already started in my heart and mind.
I stupidly worry greatly when shops close down and new ones pop up.
When roads are changed and new neighbors move in.
Any change makes my heart beat horribly fast and a cold dread fills my mind.
Liz says
I felt the same way, when I was 6 years old I feared and cried that I couldn’t live without my mother. I don’t like funerals and I don’t like thinking about death. My mother has dementia and I’m taking care of her. I cry so much just thinking my life without her. I have 5 children and my oldest is 18. She will soon go to college and I’m freaking out my life without her. She has been with me and I’m afraid of everything especially my childrens well being and the well being of good friends and family. I’m not social and I try to be but its not me. I’m afraid to die. I believe in God and have so much faith but I feel I have to live to protect my children and take care of them all the time. I’m not sure what I have and I’m 38 years old and trying to understand what I’m going through. No one knows how I feel. How do I overcome this…
Ally Gee says
This fear of change is so common. So many of my family members are affected and I was the same when I was younger. I really think this condition needs to be taken more seriously by the medical profession. A doctor recently told my nieces to ‘toughen up’. When I was 20 I tried to stop my parents selling the family home – they sold it anyway but moved into a caravan with me – then they moved to another state and I stayed behind, confused about whether it was the place of my birth or my parents that held me there. So much water under the bridge since then. My second husband died in my arms after a battle with cancer. After recovering from the grief, I no longer shake with fear when becoming anxious and the uncontrollable crying when under pressure has ceased. I’m now with a man who loves change and I’m having adventures and travelling the world. What helped me was becoming angry with my fears and being determined it wouldn’t stop me doing what I wanted to do. I’ve noticed this with other family members – they want to do so many things, move away, travel etc but their fears stop them. What is needed are new therapies to help people accept change and learn to enjoy changes that take them out of their comfort zone.
craig says
Very good! My girlfriend is frozen in fear. She finds it hard to learn new things, make changes and is getting worse as she goes along. I wish there were more help as well. I am glad you can now do that. Your life is back.
anonymous says
I hope she gets better!
Anonymous 14 year old says
Pray. That’s the way to fight this is asking God for help. You said that you believe in God. So you must believe that he can heal all afflictions. I don’t pretend to know what you go through, even though I’ve been through several moves myself, as my dad recently retired from being in the U.S. marine corps for 20 years (Semper Fi to all those marines out there). But I have seen what it can do to people. I think my girlfriend has this phobia (pray for her please), as she got a new phone today, that was better than her last one mind you, and she couldn’t quite figure it out right away and completely shut down and shut out everyone around her, even when they were trying to help her. I hate seeing her like that, on the verge of tears. And it happens so often with her. Everyone else tells her to get a grip and shut up. But God can heal these things. The Lord of the universe and our Lord is one in the same. If he can create life itself, if he can create you, with only a breath, surely he can heal your pain. So pray to God the Lord almighty. Read his word, listen to Christian music. Then all that’s left is to trust your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, will heal you. Know that I pray for you.
fran says
I am turning 60 in august and its like a switch has been flipped. All i think about is all the deaths of loved ones to come and that i will be alone. I am terrified my husband who is 6 yrs older than me will die. I dont know how to live without him. Truly. 41 years married and hes my protector. I have lost siblings and my mother when i was 6. I have severe separation anxiety when people move or just leave me. Im just a mess…
Cha says
Hi, this comment really hit home for me! Ever since I was young I had this irrational fear of my family dying, after visiting my gp and taking some pills I stopped thinking about it. Moving forward a couple of years when I was a teen, I felt the same fear creeping up, this time I was afraid that I would die. I didn’t eat, and cried all the time. After visiting my gp again I stopped thinking about it. These fears stopped however, throughout the years I also suffered from severe low self esteem and low confidence in myself which made me depressed and also have this big fear of change. I destroyed every budding relationship because of the anxiety and feeling of dread that came with it, I destroyed it without giving it a chance, which created a chain reaction of feeling good for nothing, alone, ugly and stupid.
I have just started a new job which has very bad conditions such as no ac (I live in a very hot country), cant take leave when I want, stress, deadlines, responsibility and the pay is not that great! I have been crying constantly and haven’t been eating for 4 days, I have this feeling of dread every moment and as soon as I wake up just want to die. I know that the conditions aren’t great but I also know that all these feelings are from the change that came with the job. Needless to say tomorrow I will resign and go make an appointment with a psychologist.
Sorry for the long rant but as I saw you guys talking about these things, I wanted to share my experience.
Arj says
I’m not sure if I have this and to be quite honest it’s terrifying me, seen as I can’t even deal with something slightly out of place. Some people say I just have really bad OCD however my room is not tidy it’s the complete opposite yet if someone comes in my room and moves my shoe a little in any direction I’ll freak.
I also think I have this phobia as when someone changes something I have a break down right there and suddenly I feel sick and start to sweat and most of the time I find it hard to breathe, and finding it hard to breathe scares me so I start to cry.
I’m two years into high school and I’m worried of the phobia.
bill albrecht says
I think our grandson has this. As a 5 year old he cried and cried when his father and I changed the steps to his house. Now his mother is selling her house and moving into a condo and he is violently opposed to it all. He wants her to keep the house, even though she will lose tons of money doing so, till he is through SAIT, then sell it. He will no longer be there then.
What do you think?
Milan says
I’m pretty sure I have this, and it’s just so impeding. I can’t even handle having the light bulbs changed, this happened recently and I just kind of freak out whenever I walk into the house when the new lights are on. And when the house next door was knocked down, and I could see the trains driving past, my heart literally skipped a beat, I kept thinking about “what if I don’t want to see the trains?”. The worst part is when you have a real problem, I kind of just dwell into a massive pit of self thought, and I hate this so much because it consumes your life and makes everything so hard.
Mikayla says
I’m not 100% sure I have this phobia but when changes happen I freak out. Recently changing to high school was probably the worst. For the few weeks before I would cry and tremble and think the worst before bed by just the thought of it and I still can’t handle it. I can’t even stand to be around my best friend anymore because she changed. I’m miserable around her and I’m not good at making friends without her so I’m always lonely and I can’t just go to a big crowd because I’ve always been in a small one. I want to change schools to the one where my other best friend goes she hasn’t changed but I can’t change schools it’ll change too much, teachers, people, everything. I’m even trembling thinking about it. I don’t even want a new phone, I refuse to get a new phone. I wouldn’t be able to handle it. I’m even scared to send this I’ve never left a comment thingy on a website before so commenting will be change (heart racing faster, breathing, watery eyes and trembling). I’ve been afraid of change for a while but it’s getting worse and I don’t know what to do. I can’t even comment on this without freaking out p.s plz don’t send an email, I’m using my nans email I don’t have one.
hannah says
Is there a publisher for this site? Needed for citation.
Jacob says
Hi Hannah
Thanks for your interest in my site. I have just sent you an e-mail.
David says
Can I also get the citation info?
Jacob says
Hi David
Sure – my surname is Olesen, if that’s what you’re asking for.
Let me know if there’s anything else you need.
Elham says
I don’t know if I have this phobia. Today, my mum decided to change this wire in my room into a usb because she thinks it’s neater. I begged her not to, she bought the usb anyway, my heart started racing and I had this uneasy feeling in my chest, nausea, and my mouth started watering really fast. She handed it over to me and made me put it since it needed a configuration for the pc to adapt to the usb and she isn’t so good with electronics, in the middle of it, I started crying, it’s been 25 minutes now (I think) and the only symptom I still have is that uneasy feeling in my chest, as if a disaster is gonna occur and I can’t relax. This is what made me search it up and I don’t really believe in self diagnosis so yeah..
Alicia says
Today i realize that this is what i have been going through. In 2018 i graduated from secondary school and was so excited about going to university. I read the best i could and went to write the exam. I got a 80 over 100 but i didn’t get the admission for the course i wanted. I was heartbroken and stayed in my room and cried my eyes out. I thought i got over it and went to a school where i could do a levels. I failed and couldn’t use the result. I still tried to get over it and wrote another exam and got 68 which made me feel worse because i knew that with my score i could get what I wanted. I kept my hopes up but i still didn’t get it so i settled for less. I tried to be positive and believe that i would still get what i want but i guess not facing the problem only made it worse. I am so scared that i am not smart enough, that’s why i can’t move on to the next stage. My heart was really beating while i wrote this. Thank you for this.