
The extreme and often irrational thought or fear of death leads to the phobia known as Thanatophobia. Very severe cases of thanatophobia often negatively impact the day to day functioning of the individual suffering from this condition. Often s/he refuses to leave the home owing to this fear. The talk or thought of death (or what lies after death) can trigger panic attacks in the patients. Thanatophobia is also known by various other names such as:
- Fear of entombment or the fear of being buried
- Dying phobia
- Fear of cremation
- Thantophobia
- Fear of the unknown
Causes of the fear of death phobia
As is the case with several other kinds of fears and phobias, the fear of death also results from external events (traumatic past) or internalization/predisposition of extreme concepts about death. As children, we learn that death is inevitable and non-predictable. But this knowledge can paralyze or overwhelm the person coping from Thanatophobia.
Symptoms of Thanatophobia
The mere mention of death or images or thoughts thereof can trigger a crippling anxiety in the patient. Following emotional, mental and physical symptoms are experienced by thanatophobic patients:
- Physical Symptoms: Dizziness, dry mouth, sweating, palpitations, nausea, stomach pain, trembling, sensation of choking, chest pain or discomfort, hot or cold flashes, numbness and tingling sensations.
- Mental Symptoms: Loss of control- feeling of going crazy with automatic or uncontrollable reactions, repetition of gory thoughts, inability to distinguish between reality and unreality.
- Emotional symptoms: Desire to flee and escape from current situation, extreme avoidance, persistent worry and terrifying or overwhelming thoughts. Additionally, anger, sadness and guilt may also be present.
Diagnosis and Treatment of Thanatophobia
Before considering the diagnosis of the fear of death, it is important to consider a few conditions that are mistaken for Thanatophobia. Depression, ADHD and bipolar disorders are often linked to this type of phobia. In other cases, undiagnosed conditions like Alzheimer’s disease, migraines, concentration disorders, strokes, schizophrenia, and epilepsy etc may actually be related to Thanatophobia.
Diagnosis of thanatophobia is best done by the patient himself. If the extreme thoughts of the fear of death are affecting his/her life so much so that one is unable to leave the home or compromising upon one’s daily functioning then s/he must discuss this with a medical doctor. After ruling out any physical conditions, the doctor might refer the patient to a mental health professional to further evaluate the condition.
Many kinds of treatments and therapies are available today to help individuals cope with Thanatophobia.
- Anti anxiety medicines (as yet there are no scientific studies that have proven the efficiency of treating the fear of death phobia). Anxiety medications can also have side effects.
- Hypnotherapy
- Religious counseling
- Talk therapy
- Neuro linguistic programming
- Cognitive Behavior therapy and Behavior therapy
- Relaxation techniques like imagery, meditation, controlled breathing and positive reaffirmations/visualizations
- Exposure therapy or regression therapy wherein the patient is made to relive certain events, analyze them and interpret them correctly. This helps one resolve issues surrounding the event.
- Self help techniques
- Group therapies with other patients suffering from Thanatophobia
The goal of each of these therapies is to help the patient pinpoint the exact inciting factor of the fear of death. The therapists help the patient understand why the fear is unfounded and systematically and gradually help the patient cope with these thoughts. This, in turn, helps the patient control his/her physical and mental responses to the fear of death.
In conclusion
Thantophobia or Thanatophobia is a complex phobia which, if left untreated, can touch every aspect of the individual’s life. However, one must not lose hope but opt for treatments and therapies that can help him/her cope with it. Family and friends can also play a very important role in helping the individual deal with one’s fear of death.
I think I may have this.
I’m 15, and affirmative that I have this. I constantly experience panic attacks and severe anxiety just at the thought of my impending doom, it’s come so far I see no point in leaving the house because I’m going to end anyway. I don’t really feel like these thoughts will ever disappear and that worries me.
Enjoy your days. Try to make your day a happy day. Dont think about death. You know that its going to end that way so enjoy each and every second of your life. Enjoy it till it last.
That is a cool treatment, but it does not help. Try to read the article.
I have had what I think is this fear since I was around 8 or 9 and it’s bad. Just thinking about it makes me cry and scream. I want to let my mother know but she thinks I’m ridiculous when I tell her :( How can I let her know I’m telling the truth?
At least I know it’s a real fear. I have it right before I go to bed. I always feel like I will have a heart attack, even though I’m healthy. I usually fall asleep to TV, to take my mind off of it.
I recently just turned 17 and every summer when I’m not busying myself with school work, this fear of death comes over me and it takes over my life to the point where I don’t want to eat and I feel like I can’t do anything about it. I know I’m young but I also feel like life is gonna speed by and next thing you know I’ll be dead and I won’t ever come back. See it’s not a fear I have that’s of dying, it’s what is going to happen after – is there a heaven or am I going to be dead for infinity and that’s the thing that scares me the most.
I feel the same way, I am 26 and I’ve had this severe fear since I was 7 years old and still haven’t learned how to get the thoughts to go away. It controls my life to the point where I never leave my room at times :( I too am not afraid of death but the fear of no heaven or reincarnation, just dead, no feeling, no thoughts, no memories scares me so bad.
I feel the exact same way. I am not scared of dying, but I get scared of thinking what’s going to happen after. I do hope that there is a heaven. I am also scared of leaving my close ones.
Hi. I’m turning 23 in a few months. And I have the same fear. I always think of what awaits me if I die. Will I reincarnate 2,500 years from now? Is there really a place called heaven or hell? I’m a Christian, but sometimes I cannot help but be bothered by these thoughts because it’s not like there’s someone out there who died and came back to life to tell what happens after life. Whenever these thoughts cross my mind, I’d panic and my heartbeat would accelerate a bit. I don’t wanna die without knowing my future but are we not all headed there?
Yeah, i feel the same way… the what is going to happen after part, its just unsettling. I have 4 young children and sometimes I watch them play and think “this won’t last forever”, I may leave them or they may leave before me.. but it’s inevitable. I don’t let this fear about my day to day activities though. The thoughts usually come in my idle moments or when nothing exciting is happening in my life.
Trust me, you guys are not alone in this fear. I’m 33 and it’s debilitating. I need to seek some sort of therapy, because it’s certainly no way to live.
I live with this fear for 11 years now and I am 36. And as mentioned above it is associated with the aging process and a ptsd syndrome and these 2 factors are enough to make this kind of fear the most horrible feeling ever.
This is not life. I call it existence. Adderall, alcohol do not help. Xanax is the only thing that helps but remember that once you go with xanax due to a ptsd event you will be on xanax forever. Now Adderall will give you focus but also will make you realize also what is really bothering you and scared of death so much and you might recall the worse moments of your life. Adderall will be dangerous if you take more than 5 mg and you have this kind of fear. Alcohol now will not help in any way as it never helps you. Alcohol is for people that have their lives together and do not live in a chaos. And still only when you drink responsibly.
I understand this, I have most of these symptoms. The thing I hate most is the feeling of butterflies in my head, not my stomach, and it sucks. I feel like no one will understand and I have a phobia of dying in my sleep.
I have been suffering from this phobia every day of my life, it only makes you sicker but it’s hard to fight it. My brother passed at 26 years old and we’re still waiting on the report to tell us why. Since then every day I wake up, it’s like death is all I think about since me and my big brother has been so close and I am 22 about to be 23 in four days. It feels like I’m not going to make it that long. But I’ll see a psychiatrist in a little while but in the mist I have to suffer from panic attacks, they have me on xanax and it calms me but I’m still thinking I’ll never stop worrying about death.
Instead of xanax which is addictive try instead Zen Mag (marine magnesium) and Kalmaner they are both natural and they worked very well for me.
I too have been experiencing this, mostly before bed. I have an irrational fear of dying in my sleep that has caused extreme depression and anxiety. I feel bad for anyone who has any variation of this phobia after experiencing it. It’s so confusing. I know I’m not going to die if I go to sleep. Yet the fear of dying in my sleep has kept me from sleeping right for over 2 months now. Not sure what to do.
I have been writing an article on Thanatophobia and would like to cite you but I’m having trouble since I don’t see your last name or when this was published. If I could get the extra help, that would be great! Please and thank you!
This website really helped me.
I also have this fear. I always think that there is a bad karma waiting for me and that my life will end just when I achieve my goals. I keep saying to myself that this is only another form of laziness and that fear comes to help people avoid death, not life. Everyone dies, but not everyone lives.
I’ve dealt with the fear of my mothers death for as long as I can remember.
I’m 56, my mother will be 89 in January. I don’t want to live without her. I want to die before or with her. I’ve tried to kill myself more than once. My family tells me to think about them. I really just want to die so I don’t have to go through it. I feel for each and everyone of you. I wouldn’t wish this phobia on anyone.
I’m 73 and have had this all my life, its definitely had an impact on my life , if i try to discuss with anyone they just say, everyone has to die , er, yes i do know that but it doesn’t take away the terror.
I am 33 and am terrified of death. To lose my person, my conscious mind, is scary. I believe when we die it’s over and that’s horrifying
everytime im in a car, i cling my hands onto my seat. im terrified. you know why? well, before this fear of death came over me, i went on a ton of roller coaster rides, etc. but every since i got a fear of death, im terrified on ANYTHING that moves. I always feel SOMETHING will go wrong. i am very depressed when the thought of death comes to my mind, i softly cry to myself. please tell me if ANY of you feel the same way! it would totally help me overcome this fear and make me feel much better!
and yes, it IS terrifying to loose your soul, conscious, all that fun stuff. but what will happen after? is there a heaven? will your soul leave your body and walk the earth? the thought of what will happen AFTER is the scary stuff. (for me)
Because of this fear of death, i cant travel alone in trains or i am afraid of driving alone. I feel like if i go alone i will die.. please help.
I have the same feelings!!
everytime im in a car, i cling my hands onto my seat. im terrified. you know why? well, before this fear of death came over me, i went on a ton of roller coaster rides, etc. but every since i got a fear of death, im terrified on ANYTHING that moves. I always feel SOMETHING will go wrong. i am very depressed when the thought of death comes to my mind, i softly cry to myself. please tell me if ANY of you feel the same way! it would totally help me overcome this fear and make me feel much better!
I never had this problem until my dad passed last September? It honestly knocked me into reality, I read online nonstop about heaven even though it’s just based on peoples thoughts. I have been hospitalized twice for panic attacks. It did not help going there at all. I’m 22 so they don’t take it as serious. I can’t even relax or don’t feel truly happy anymore. I am so clingy to my loved ones. Esp. to my mom and husband. My mom understands cause she goes through the same thing, my husband just tries to calm me down and says everything is OK. I tell him yes for right now. I hate he has to put up with me like this. Has anyone else been feeling more clingy when you feel scared?
hey kalyan first of all the thought will panic u i faced it too but it will not last forever .. and that particular moment divert your mind .. u ll be fine trust me .. i faced worst than u .. but am absolutely fine now .. death is natural all need to die one day even a billionare or even a poor beggar .. so its ok .. till u die enjoy the moment na .. this thought strikes me everyday but am fine .. i got used to it .. u ll be fine too .. u have a good future .. just go for positive thinking classes .. to yoga and meditation .. spend more time with family .. hope u ll be fine soon .. i ll keep u in my prayers .. take care :)
I am 44 years old. Only learning now that I had severe ocd and death phobia since I was a child. ANYTHING that has to do with dying fills me with fear. I have also had panic attacks over going to sleep and thinking I won’t wake up. The thought of not knowing if I am deceased consumes me with terror! Perhaps I found this to help me realize I am not alone
Hi I am so afraid of dying that its on my mind 24/7 I am in such a state of fear its overwhelming. I have cancer which will result in my death eventually but I just cant accept this. I lost my Son 4 years ago and a lot of mothers would be glad to die to be with their child but not me. I don’t know what I believe about heaven and even God if there is such a place. I am desperate for help and have seen psychiatrists, psychologists and a hypnotherapist… all to no benefit. I sometimes feel that im being punished as everything in my life is so miserable. I am so afraid… is there any hope for me? Regards Lynn
please dont die! everytime death gets brought up in my mind, Im a mess of fear and sadness combined. i cry at the same time when i think of whatll happen when I die. its t-t-terrifying, and it also causes me to cry softly. once I read all these comments, i dont know, I just started crying. now whenever *death* is brought up, i cry softly to myself. i have no idea why though. anyways, please dont die!
I have the same problem, fear of that. It irritates me everytime and thats why I am not able to enjoy my life. It started first with the death of one of my neighbours. After that every time I see a dead body i get panic attacks. I have noticed it happens only when i see dead bodies and not when i hear about it. But i cannot avoid last rites of my close ones because of this. People will call me mad. I feel like committing suicide. I am 35. Please help.
I hope you are ok. If not, call 911!!
hey amruta i know its too late to reply .. but i hope ur fine and u ll see my message .. i faced worst than yours since 2 months but am absolutely fine now .. thanatophobia is purely shit .. first thing dont research about it too much .. every single experience by others will scare you but one thing if ur daring enough read articles .. i know even today i get the thought of death .. but honey we all gotto leave this world one day .. a human life is completed or has sense only when they r born n dead .. or else for what r u on earth .. every moment it strikes me too but started enjoying this thought .. now i dont get any panic attacks or even scary anxiety feeling u ll get used to it .. but trust me as per the research i did on it they r crores of people facing this .. few forget but few carry along but remember every feeling is temporary.. trust me only solution is keep yourself busy .. do yoga meditation .. and keep visiting the people u like most .. and foremost thing believe in god .. he sent u for a reason dont shatter his rights till he feels ur work is done and come back .. so smile .. start a new day .. enjoy the thought when it strikes .. sing loud songs .. do chanting .. go to temple .. change your mind .. and one day to ur surprise u ll feel today the thought and had not come even once in ur mind .. but plz dont give up .. if thats the case they r crores of people who should die .. fear happens only when u fear about it .. when u see it small seriously its just a too small thing .. am in a goal to save number of lives who had faced this .. cause am the proud example who had overcome it .. hope ur fine .. all the very best :)
Thank you Divya. Your comments are really helpful.
I have a 23 year old son who up until 2 months ago didnt have a care in the world. Then all of a sudden bam he is having panic attacks and constantly worrying about death. He is worried i will die his father will one day die and he cant cope with knowing if there is an afterlife or that if your gone never to be seen again.. i just dont know what to tell him.
You say OCD, I say PANDAS. Outside possibility and some doctors are skeptical of the whole thing. So far, they’ve only looked at children and teenagers, but heck, adults can get rheumatical fever. A reasonable first step might be asking your regular doctor about blood test to check for strep antibodies.
Thank you Doug J . I never heard of pandas. Definitely plan on doing some research. Also, I am anxious to find out more about a blood test. You were extremely helpful.
I am in the same situation as your son. I once didn’t fear death, but then in this subject we once did in school, where you would say aspects of your personalities, your fears, what you love, etc. my fears back then were Clowns, Being Alone, and Lightning, but then my friend said one of her fears was death, there were a lot of other students who said the same thing, and it got me thinking of it and I totally started worrying about my friends, family, and even myself dying. Every time i brought the subject up in my head i would start softly crying. I can’t get that thought out of there! And is there an AfterLife? I don’t know! If I knew there was one, I wouldn’t be so fearful of death. I would know that if a member of my family died, it was okay, once I die, I can see them again. But no! I don’t know if there is! And what would it feel like to get your life taken away? will you be a ghost wandering earth? will you just not exist? How the heck should I know?
*sniff sniff* sorry, I just softly cried for five minutes after typing all that. (i feel im having an emotional breakdown or something..)
I’m glad to know that many people knows the same suffering that Im having right now. It does really make me happy. Its just the thought of knowing that I am not alone. Usually i keep myself busy during the day managing to keep it out of my head, spending time with my family also relieves me from thinking about my uncertain life after death or if there is really anything after death. In my case it is only triggered at night. Just right before bedtime, everytime, then it will slowly get into me. Slowly but the more i resist the more i feel like going crazy. Its a must for me to sleep before 12am, cause if i dont, the fear will consume me, and it will be another night without sleep. I usually leave the TV and the lights on, cause it makes me feel safe, i dont know why but it keeps my mind relaxed. But at the same time keeps my head busy, refraining it from thinking about death. I just hope we find our way out of this fear, for good.
I know I have this. Its usually at night. My heart races and I think about death what happens when I die. I get bad panic attacks where I jump out of my bed scared. I don’t know how to handle this I am 39 now. I am so terrified of this it causes me to think about it all the time.
I just had to reply to at least one of these fears. I use have the same fear of death until I got tired of this fear eating up my life here on earth. I decided that I would live until I die. I cannot stop death, no matter what, so I had to find my peace with it. This peace can only come from God who promised me that He will never leave or forsake me. Yes, death will come, and it will only be for a moment and then His presence. I also found comfort in knowing that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. Well, that did it for me and I hope you find comfort in this as well.
This sounds like me. I have had panic attacks about death since i was, well i dunno 8 years at least and i am 23 now. Before bed or when it is dark is the worst for me, especially when my fiance is at work. My mind goes from whatever it is focused on to PANIC PANIC PANIC as soon as i am aware of it, i cant shake it, the harder i fight it the worse i get. I literally shoot up, pase around and just struggle to breathe and im tense and my body feels heavy and i am literally shaking and then i cry because ” i dont want to die, i dont want to lose anyone, i dont want there to be nothing, whyyyyy am i like this” basically the same thing 24 7.
I was told i have PTSD. Waiting for intense therapy too.
I had a rough childhood, a few traumas which seem to have impacted me more now i am older.
I always feel like a total idiot for being this way.
I feel alone with it,
Shae again. The one with undiagnosed childhood ocd. Still suffering at the age of 44. Definitely seems ocd developed as a way to deal with death phobia. Does anyone else have ocd/death phobia? Just wondering if anyone gets ocd (obsessive compulsive disorder) symptoms so bad that they think they need to do random things(not harming myself or others)to prevent a terminal illness. A way to keep myself safe. I fight this on a daily basis, it is exhausting!! Can ANYONE relate?!
Do I have Thanatophobia or do I just have depression? Everytime I think of the thought of death, I softly cry to myself and softly say/ think to myself *I dont wanna die* is that Thanatophobia? I feel like I’m getting them mixed up, but correct me if I’m wrong. And no, I can’t relate.
@Shae. I don’t know if you will see this since some time has passed since your entry but my child had the same experience. “They” had severe OCD as a child in 3rd grade. There were three pages of “fears” (all based on death) we systematically went through with exposure therapy and medication. After six months It seemed to abate and we took “them” off of medication. I think there was always an underlying anxiety issue but “they” could function until college. By then “they” were old enough to direct their own health care and tried many anti-anxiety drugs and is doing ok on one but has the occasional panic attack and frequently IBS symptoms “they” claim from the anxiety. We had a conversation about “their” fears just yesterday and as an adult they can realize that it was always a fear of death, non-existance and nothing they will do will ever matter.
I can relate! I have OCD, and the fear of death! oml, i FINALLY found someone :o! (this is Jannah Vincent) after 2 years o.o, i somehow developed OCD.
This is me every day for 40 years or more. In fact, I just had a panic attack. My fear is always that someone close to me is going to die. If I do an OCD ritual, I think I can prevent it. But lately, I feel like if I do a ritual, it won’t work. So instead, I cry, scream alone, break things, and drive my truck super fast, like I’m about to drive it straight off a cliff.
It’s very damaging to my marriage and very tiring.
Brenda from Texas
Hi. I have read your article on this issue. And this definitely sounds like me. I get to the point that even talking about death makes me feel sick, and my heart races so much i physically cant catch a breath. It doesnt help that i live near a graveyard either which makes near impossible to go out of the house. I have to force myself as i have three children. But it is difficult. When a family member dies. I shut down to people telling me as i feel like im next. And life is too short as it is. I hope that your tools can help overcome this as its difficult to live with. And yet its all all around us.
I am terrified of the fear of death.
I used to keep telling myself that I will live long since all my family members have lived longer than 90 years old but younger then 100. But then the thought comes up to me: *what if i dont die of old age?*
And then, after about 10 years i got over it, but then this project in school happened. We had to do a project where we wrote some of our personality aspects, some fears, etc. i said that i feared Clowns, Being Alone, and Lightning. But then, i noticed most of the students in my class including my friend said they feared death. and it made me question it again.
After 1 year, i had forgot about that, and i was totally carefree. I went on Roller Coaster rides, etc. but then I watched this fanfic thing on YouTube basically saying life is delicate, but then it made me terrified of death AGAIN! Now im terrified on anything that moves, including cars/rides.
After another year, im still terrified but this time, any time death is brought up to my mind, im a mess of sadness and fear mixed. I cry softly to myself whispering in depression to myself “I dont wanna die..!” and usually my face is already covered in tears. But then, I wipe the tears off, and say to myself (in my mind) “suck it up”! You dont wanna end up as an emotional looser, do you?” And then a little debate goes on in my head “yea, but what about dying? Its terrifying!” “I know its terrifying, but you’ll die eventually.” “But i dont wanna die! (starting to cry for about five LOOOONG minutes)” “I said to suck. it. up.” “but–!” “Suck. It. Up.” “Okay..” ** it seems every day that is always happening to me!
Saira
I have had a death phobia since 5 years, now I’m 29. Still today I’m sitting home off work. I start going into death phobia after thinking too much abt my past life and future and daily things which cause of stress anxiety. Depression. When I’m in this stress and depression position I start having symptoms sweat cold/hot shiver. Running to the toilet like if I need it but I don’t. Then my heartbeat goes fast. Once that happens my mind quickly changes its thinking to think abt death and now it’s my time and I’m gonna die today.after that ambulance come and gone.. I don’t go to hospital coz I don’t like it makes me think more if I’m gonna die.I don’t take any tablets that my gp told me to cause I fear side effect and death. This is all because depression and stress leading to anixty which then leads to death phobia. I try to then control it myself as I do that It takes me 2 -3 weeks to recover from it myself but them 2-3 weeks are like u don’t want to eat talk do anything. Losing weight not just that I smashed my head into a door. I feel like cutting my arms and take blood out just to feel relaxed. But then im scared of knifves so i dont. But i just think abt harming myself. my problem really is I be ok for 8 months then after 8 months it just starts again for 4 months in a year. It’s ruining my life. Where I work, my mangers call me a lier now coz they are fed up.. but yeah I have the belief I will fight it
I would say to all others people who have it 2 don’t be scared of it. Fight it.
If u think that’s its coming back in yr head try to do something anything. What u like. Or I do stupid things like singing I can’t sing so when I do family around starts laughing then I start laughing to which I feel better
Try laughter yoga for stress on YouTube.
SairaBano_ @ outlook.com
This is my email ID if anyone wants to chat abt anything that they feel it’s leading to such thoughts like this coz iv been through and I am going through I think we all will feel better in talking about it to the same ppl who have the same problems, we can help each other.
Sara the fear you gave and all of your symptoms comes from past lives. There is a man named Dr Michael Newton he has a book called job journey of souls. Its crucial that you read it. It will give you an understanding of why you’re like this, most important it will help you to overcome this. If it don’t help 100 percent I suggest going and having a past life regression done.
how do people act when they have this particular fear
sad ;(
well, when i think about it i start to sob and say again and again; “i dont wanna die, i really dont!”
my heart beats outta my chest and i also sweat.
They act as if they might die every day. I know this because I have, so I am a reliable source.
This has only been happening since about 3 years ago… and it doesn’t happen often. But when it does, it’s terrifying. Usually when I’m lying in bed trying to get to sleep… whatever I’m thinking of will just go away and get replaced with death. I think of how when I’m old and frail, sick and unable to live any longer, I’ll just cease to exist and my lifeless body will be trapped inside a wooden box for all eternity.
I don’t want to die… I really really don’t. I never want to die. I’m terrified of death…. I don’t just want my life to end and the world go on without me.
I don’t know where I’m going to go when I’m dead… and that scares me. I want to stay here, on earth.
To be honest… the only reason I’m here right now is because as I was drifting off to sleep I began to think of death, and my heart started racing, I began to sweat, and I felt like I was about to start sobbing. I wish there was something I could do to get rid of this, I hate this feeling. I hate it. I know I’m fortunate to not have to experience it as much as some other people do, and I feel so so bad for those people, and I don’t want to sound selfish since I haven’t been dealing with this as long as other people.
This scares me. A lot.
I am the exact same way. 40 years old and feeling like this for at least 20. Saw many psychoterapists and they are no help. I also feel like I am not enjoying happy moments as much as i could and it feels like you are missing something important. Wish I could get rid of this thanatophobia… it’s so overwhelming…
Be strong.
Franck
Eren. I have the exact same problem, to the point, reading yours almost made me cry.
Laying in bed is usually when this fear pops up most, and it comes and goes depending on your state of mind and how well rested you are, I think. Because it usually effs up your nights when you are at your worst times.. or are emotionally or physically exhausting yourself too much.
The panic erupts into your head and heart with such a force, I usually lash out and hit the wall in my blind panic, If i have no wall, then I hit myself on the head, or slap my face, as bizarrely as it sounds, in a ‘snap out of this’ wake up call.. (not hard, mind you) ,
Thinking “I dont want to die! I dont want to die!” “I dont want to not exist” ect , Usually once the fear peaks, it goes back down again quickly, my heart rate levels and I can finally rest. Its been playing up again , so I decided to look online,
and idk how to explain how much of a relief it is to know its not just a ‘Its only me” thing, but a common problem many people the world over, have… Whilst also… being sorry to see other ppl suffer this too.
It drives you crazy.. not being able to do anything to prevent what you see as something one day around the corner, Even the idea that the people you know now, love or hate, will cease to be one day too and you fear for them as welll… Its frustrating.. I too wish there was a way to end these accursed episodes…
But i hope you and the other people who suffer from it as well, know they are not alone and we are all one big family with a shared phobia. Because from what ive seen in these comments, there are a lot of courageous and remarkably strong people here.
I think we all go through this fear sometimes.. however some people suffer more severe anxiety.
Prayers help.. When we talk to God about our fears, troubles and burdens, His spirit will give us peace of mind and when we surrender everything to God who is the giver of life, we will have hope and faith that whatever happens, God is in control.. And though life on earth is temporal.. there is an eternal life in a happier place with God… if we only believe.
As what the inspiring song says, ‘Though I may not understand all the plans you have for me.. my life is in Your hands..and through the eyes of faith I can clearly see that God is Good All the Time’.
Philippians 4:6-7
6. Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
Amen. Keep telling the world about God, and keep on slaying.
I am the exact same way I have this terrifying feeling and it is with me several hours of the day impacting on my life . I now know I’m not alone I didn’t realise how many people are like me and that I need to seek help and talk about this its been a big help thank you xxx
I am 35 and have had a death fear since I was 14. It comes and goes. I look it up all the time on the internet. Is there an afterlife and you turn to ash. Always asking decased family members to contact me someway but there is nothing. When asking family members they don’t know but hope there is. You are here now but how long is now. Mum is my support but it’s getting her down and I want her to be happy she has gone through enough bad stuff. My fear has gotten the best of me and am considering Cyronics but then of course you still die which defeats the object but is better than no hope all. It also scares me of my mum dying I can somewhat cope when she is around mum says she is not going anywhere and if I dont snap out of it no Orlando and if you know anything about me I love Disney and wrestling.I can’t help the way I feel it keeps me going something good to look forward to I sleep okay now because I feel safe but that may change. Does not help when people say each birthday is one year nearer to death. This is no way I want to live or impact my family members or the legacy to my nieces. Now I know that I am not alone. Thank your for letting me get all my feelings out
My daughter who is now 15yrs of age is suffering from this fear. At first when she was about 5 she developed a fear about lightning and thunder, then very gradual she grew out of that fearing thunder and lightening but instead she now has a something very sever pain attaches about dying. I was born in Somalia and when I was about six I lost my younger sister in sudden death. Then few months after her death my family lost everything to civil war in Somalia. Running from country to country as refugees, my parents never explained to me to what exactly happened to my younger sister. I used to cry endless at nights for her and I missed her so much so that I named her after my daughter. Sometimes I wander if my daughter is somehow connected to my sister. Some cultural seriously suck. In my Somali culture adults simply suck at comforting and attending to children’s emotional well-beings.
Fear is a tool of the evil one, otherwise known as the Devil. He casts doubt and fear into our minds and into our hearts that there is nothing to look forward to after one’s own death. We are lead to believe that death is final, absolute. We are left without hope.
If you don’t own a Bible then here is a free online one: biblegateway . I suggest that you study and research it to prove it’s truth for yourself. Your situation is summarized in Ephesians chapter 2 verse 12 (Ephesians 2:12) which states, “In those days you were living apart from Christ. You were excluded from citizenship among the people of Israel, and you did not know the covenant promises God had made to them. You lived in this world without God and without hope.” Many non-believers do not know the hope and love that comes from knowing a God who is loving, compassionate, faithful, and just.
In John 11:25 (chapter 11, verse 25) Jesus, the son of God who came to this earth to live a mortal life – died on our behalf – then was raised to heaven three days later (witnessed by over 500 people), said “Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying.” This doesn’t mean that we will live on earth forever. This means that when this body dies our spirit can go to be with him and we will be given a new body. In John 14:1-4 Jesus said, “Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. And you know the way to where I am going.”
Study the scriptures to have these things revealed. John 3:16-17, “For this is how God loved the world: He gave[a] his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.
Reading your post unfortunately doesn’t help alleviate the fear of death. You, as a Bible believing Christian believes that if you are not part of the called in Christ (the body of Christ) then those unfortunate “uncalled” will burn forever in a hellfire. How comforting! How is reading the Bible going to help with it being full of errors and abundant in inaccurate translated words to fit the agenda of man. You should educate yourself first before giving this advice. You deliberately left out the fear of hellfire that some people have, and as usual this is what the typical Christian does so I’ll bring it up. Nowhere in the Bible does it teach that God (a loving God) will burn unbeliever’s in hellfire for all eternity, but that Christ is the Savior of “ALL MEN”, especially to those who believe. All people will eventually come to believe after they have been resurrected with (a new body) to be judged and face a second death to be refined through a Godly fire (not flames of torment) for an eon ( a specified period of time). every knee will bend and worship the son, to the glory of God the father. This is what will give people hope. God does not want anyone to perish, but wills that “ALL MEN BE SAVED” and God does not lie nor can his will be thwarted by any man made religion or dogma.
When I was 7 I first realized that someday I would die. That whole summer I would lay in bed every night and cry because I didn’t’ want to die someday. I remember thinking “I don’t want to die! I don’t want there to be no more ME!”. I eventually got past it and forgot about it altogether. The only symptom being that I was always extra cautious with my safety and refrained from putting myself in life threatening situations. Even when it sometimes led to being teased by my friends and family for being such a worry worth. But over the last few years it has been progressively coming back to the point that I can barely stand to even talk about it. I am 40 now and if I don’t take extreme measures to cut any train of thought that might lead to it, I develop anxiety attacks or severe bouts of depression no matter where I am, that are hard to talk myself back from. I live in Washington state and the last 2 years have found me on edge waiting for the big full rip earthquake that is supposed to hit our state any day now. At first I was in a constant state of fear. Every time someone opened a closet or a big truck drove by causing the house to shake or even rumble my body would lock up and I’d think “This is it! It’s happening!” I worried about my children and my family, sending them information and survival tips on what to do when the big one hit so they wouldn’t be killed by it or the tsunami that is supposed to happen right after. I tried to talk my daughter into moving out of her apartment that was located close to the waterfront because I was terrified of her being killed. Your body can only sustain a limited amount of constant terror I think, before it eventually starts to numb itself. I am still mentally afraid but I don’t have the same constant physical reactions. But every single time I drive anywhere I look out the windows and consider the trees that could crush my car if the earthquake happened right then. And throughout all of this I would have thoughts about dying which would lead to theological questions about the existence of God and an afterlife. Which would lead to panic and sorrow because I wonder if this is really all there is. And if so, I don’t want to die yet because I haven’t DONE anything that I want to do or experienced barely anything that I want to experience. And I have to stop myself now because even writing this is starting to cause my heart to race and an ache in my chest and if I don’t cut it off right now it will lead to a full blown panic attack that I feel stupid trying to explain to anyone.
I completely understand where you’re coming from. It’s so tiring. I think the possibility of an afterlife brings me more comfort than anything. It’s the thought of someday being nothing-nonexistent that terrifies me. Of course with an afterlife, I worry about being sent to hell, but as bad as that’s been described in the Bible, I somehow find that more comforting than being nothing someday. I worry about how I’ll die. Will I die in my sleep? Will I die in a car wreck? Will I die of Cancer? When will I die? Is it today? “Oh God! I feel a chest pain, is this it?” I think about the possibility of never seeing my family again some day and I become very sad. I don’t want to die. I come from a religious family and I consider my Grandmother a wise lady, so one day I ask her, “Are you afraid to die?” She told me that acceptance of death came to her once she gave her life to God. She said it’s a peace that can’t be explained. Of course she said when she sets down and thinks about dying that the fear will creep in slowly just like it would with anyone else, but that believing in a higher power has given her a better understanding. I’m trying to follow her advice right now as we speak. I have noticed a very, very small improvement. Good luck to you!
I am completely with you here -.- I try to make myself feel better by learning as much as I can about everything essentially I guess. Nothing helps for shit xD Unless the massively astronomical ultimate questions are answered in my lifetime.. It was always be massively detrimental to me :/ I struggle to breath 24/7 because of the questions for some reason 2 thirds of the population don’t seem massively phased by? I’m jealous of those guys -.- I think It’s all so embedded into my personality and being that no amount of therapy is going to help to be honest.. I think we are the ones that should be striving for such answers if not for us for the world maybe? Who knows right? xD This all coming from a 25 year old Musicion turned care, who am I? Haha.
This is how I feel almost word for word. My mother suddenly passed away about 8 years ago and since this happened I’ve had the fear of death, in extreme id say. Certainly not healthy for me in any way and I’m feeling it more so lately. I’ve never been a religious person what so ever and I feel like that’s what I need to some what fix this problem. So I feel stuck in the rock and hard spot. Feel like I’m just lying to myself to feel some kind of better. Feel so afraid and so lost at the same time. Its good to see how others feel and how they cope with this problem. Even if it don’t fix my situation at the least its a bit easier to deal with the situation all around I suppose. I turn 40 soon and I feel like I’m too old to be feeling like this. Like it is only a child that should be afraid like this. Or maybe less of a man I guess, like I’m weak for feeling this way. Which at times cycles into more depression and or stress from it all. I find myself trying to make sure this don’t happen to my children. Did I go wrong with not teaching them more religion and things of that nature. Id certainly never want my children to feel the way I’ve felt the past years. Its miserable and its tiring emotionally. Any tips or anyone up for talking about this would be greatly appreciated. I was surprised to see so many people on this so maybe it could help.
I’ve had the same problem for years now too. And for those years it was really hard to find peace because being in a constant state of fear, anxiety, stress and panic attacks make it really hard to relax. I would just emotionally break down and it would last hours or even days. But what I’m saying is that I found a thought process that kinda eases the fear and panic. I’m not religious, so I don’t think there is anything after death. So this may help other people with this fear and them not believing in an afterlife. The way I think about it, death is exactly the same as prelife, nonexistence because when you die you go back to nonexistence. So I think of it like I didn’t exist before I was born so death has to be the exact same thing as prelife. So I don’t remember prelife being bad or scary, So the way I see it is that people are scared of dying because they don’t know what happens when you die, because they’ve never died before. But if you think about it death isn’t a new experience, because before you were born you could consider prelife as the same thing as death. Both mean you don’t exist. So you just go back to where you came from. It’s nothing new, because we’ve all experienced what death is going to be like before we were ever even born. And I don’t remember prelife being something scary or bad, you just go back to where you came from. But I do recommend you do what you like and enjoy to do in life as much as you can, so that way when you die you have no regrets. Try to think of life like a gift not a curse, because imagine the things you would have missed out on if you had never come here. And for me the things I enjoy and love to do in life are worth coming here for, even if I die in the end. I hope this thought process helps you and other people that are going through the same thing I was. It helped me and I hope it helps you too.
John, you have me crying. I have feared death and any and everything related to it for 12 or 13 years now, which wouldn’t be a lot to say if not because I am 20. Reading other people’s experience with this sure does help a lot. But you know, in the short term. Just like laughing doesn’t mean you’re happy or promising you’re gonna change and really mean it in that moment doesn’t mean that you’re gonna achieve it or even try that hard.
I somehow feel like I’m so young and my fear doesn’t bring too many too annoying physical reactions with it (even though the mental and emotional reactions are plenty, diverse, and destructive) that I don’t have the right to complain or to compare myself with other stories that I read here and that sound like possible futures to me.
I have scanned my past and I can’t seem to find an event that started this whole thing out, I have had regular deaths of relatives over the years, but none of the ones that have affected me most were near the time of the start of it. Most even taking place afterwards. I did have, as silly as it sounds, a bird (they are really smart and have complex emotions) commit suicide (perhaps accidentally) out of jealousy for me. He was older than me and my family suddenly payed more attention to the little kid than to him so he caused himself to bleed with his beak, constantly. Whether that was the cause of his death or not is not relevant, but how my family told me the story is, and I do remember the event of realizing he was dead. I was never too affected by it though, that I know anyway.
Something that I’ve always had and that I’d like to explain in case anyone can relate is a thought pattern that always leads to these feelings that I call “understanding death”:
I’m thinking about whatever topic x and I am curious about it to the point where I question it’s development even after my realistic lifespan/I analyze it too objectively or with a very impersonal mindset, like, from outside of life itself and I realize “Oh, how silly, of course I won’t know, because I won’t be here by then” (at this point I still don’t feel bad because I have the feeling that me dying doesn’t change the way I will experience the world significantly) and I realize I will not go anywhere when I die. I will not be doing stuff or experience anything, there is nothing to come back to after this, it’s not like I was doing something before and then just entertained myself with life as one does with a book, movie, or game, and then after life I’ll go do something else while I wait for dinner or something.
This is why your words were so striking, moving, helpful. “… you just go back to where you came from. It’s nothing new, because we’ve all experienced what death is going to be like before we were ever even born. And I don’t remember prelife being something scary or bad, you just go back to where you came from.” Here you gave another interpretation to my most scary sentence in the thought process I usually have: “there is nothing to come back to after this”, by turning that nothing into a thing. “There is a thing to come back to after this”, what this thing is, we do not remember, we didn’t experience it, and we’ll just go back to not doing it again.
It feels like you just have to remove the negation from all these sentences to turn them into something positive, and as obvious as that sounds, I wouldn’t have realized it on my own. Thanks, thank you very much John and everyone else here. You don’t know how much I needed this, really, I can’t stress it enough.
Tracy,
I realize that your comment is from 3 years ago but it’s like reading my own story. I’m unfortunately one of those people who wake up during the night to use the restroom and that’s the worst time for my mind to race from thoughts of death. One day there will be no more me.
i’m 20 now and i have had the fear of death since i was 8, the fears came and went, but now i want to solve it for once, can anyone know how can i get rid of it, thank you
I have had this fear since I was ten and I realised that people who were dead will never come back
My fear started when my grandfather passed away. I literally said bye to him then went to the movie theaters. By the time I got back my grandfather was gone at the hospital and was dead. The fear left now it came back. I’m going to try CBD.
I know, it sucks to have this fear. I developed this around 12-13 too. Just the feeling of death gives me the chills.
Hi, i am doing a study on this phobia, The Fear of Death, Thanatophobia, and i just wanted to say, thank you for putting this up, and i have thanatophobia right now so yeah.. i just wanted to say thank you!
This sucks. Im 29, i have had this fear since i was 12 or 13, i try to commit suicide several times but the fear of death prevented me to do anything that requires consciousness. So i have many scars and crazy stories. At 14 resorted to trying car exhaust to do the job, go to sleep, die. Easy. Well not so much. My father came home early from work and found me unconscious in the garage with the car running. Death seem to laugh at my attempts only to become more scarier and more REAL. A few years later i mustered up the courage to try again with sleeping pills. The stress of Death has made my life feel like torture wanting death to stop the pain but terrified of dying and the unknown. Quite the conundrum. Living this way is hell already and worrying about death constantly only feeds that pit in your chest that these weights that hold you down in life seem to rarely give way. Living is a struggle and a goal that seems just outta reach. Life feels complicated. Way too complicated. Others don’t get it. Which sucks. You feel alone and that is scary too. I try to suppress the pain and soldier on but it just eats at me and it is tough. Im married, 2 kids, and im terrified. I try my best to be ok. Adhd and bi polar meds epilepsy and anxiety meds. The works. I know death happens and i know i cant stop it. Even when thinking about it scares me out of it. I just want the suffering to end. Not me. Ive been in this pit while life passes by. I feel unaccomplished. Not finished. I did not contribute enough in life that dying will end me and i wouldve been pointless here in life. A waste. I dont know. Im still trying for my girls. Like i said. Its tough, these anchors of sadness weigh so much.
Hi. I am also facing the same kind of phobia. Can you please get in touch, I want to share and know what the reason behind it is.
I understand this so much.
I am a 37 year old male with mild Cerebral Palsy running a library and activity centre for children with the help of my mother, aged 60 in Bengaluru, India. I lost my beloved father when I was 14 and my beloved sister when I was 22. My mother wants to get me married but I am hesitant as my academic qualification is limited to matriculation following a poor working memory. Moreover, I am scared if my spouse would separate me from my mother.
I have severe fear of illness and death. I shake uncontrollably. Medication is not helping I’ve tried hypnotherapy, counseling, I sit rigid on my couch or return to bed it’s awful and nobody understands.
Oh my, I understand completely. I’ve not found any therapists who understand this phobia at all. No therapists are trained for this kind of trauma, which is a real fear of something that will happen. It’s not irrational to me. I’m sorry nobody understands who you can talk to. This is so hard to go through alone.
Ohh yes I totally understand your pain.
I have also had these fears. Perhaps it is a normal part of having a consciousness. I look at animals who seem not to be so aware, who just sort of exist and think they are the lucky blessed ones. We seem now to have not only religion, spiritualism or whatever but the amazing world of science that explains how our brain reacts when deprived of oxygen and what our bodies actually do when in the dying process. I have had a situation where I thought I may have cancer and the alarm and fear that washes over you at anytime is just terrible. I think probably the fear of going through the process of dying will probably kill me before anything else gets me. We seem to come into this world in a rather rough way…Imagine just being born, getting squashed out of your mum and having to deal with being in that tiny undeveloped body…we went through that OK…I just hope and pray that I find the grace…the total grace…to go without too much fear and panic when it comes time. And I would be more than happy with a green dream from the doctors at the end cause I really fear discomfort and pain. Our dogs and cats get a better deal than what we do. Cheers from Australia everyone xx
I am glad that I do not suffer from this phobia (But I still have arachnophobia). I just want to say that I know the root of the beginning of this. Thanatos is the Greek god of Death. Hades is of the Dead, not death itself. I just want to share that.
I have been afraid of losing my family members or my dearest friends (and am terrified of what will happen when I die) since I was 9. Now I’m 12, and this website really helped me to feel much better. I always thought that it would be very painful if I died. I’m trying to think like this: That’s OK because everyone is going to die one day, and infinity life could be boring. Humans should try to have a joyful life, and I think it’s better to live happily and try not to think about death til’ the time comes. So be a USEFUL human and person in your own life. That would help a lot.
I more than likely have had the phobia of death off and on because I always have scary and overwhelming thoughts, and when I go to funerals, it makes me constantly scared of dying, so I thank this website for telling me different ways to treat it.