To an extent, most of us are afraid of growing old. No one wants to lose their youthfulness, develop wrinkles and face other health problems that are inevitable with age. Right since the dawn of mankind, humans have been searching for the mythical “fountain of youth”. The tales and exploits of Spanish and American explorers in search of the waters of this fountain are quite well known.
In extreme cases of Gerascophobia the sufferer experiences persistent, irrational and constant fear of getting old. This fear can lead to several consequences including interference with social and personal life, lost job opportunities and almost every other daily aspect. Often, the phobic realizes that the fear is unwarranted but s/he is completely powerless over it.
Causes of Gerascophobia
Why does one fear of aging? Often, to ‘normal’ people, it may seem quite odd that one can fear such a natural phenomenon. However, the fear of getting old phobia actually tends to have deeper roots.
Most common underlying factor behind such a fear is anxiety. By nature, Gerascophobic individuals are anxious or high strung. They tend to have certain underlying health issues, which may or may not include hormonal imbalances, adrenal insufficiency, thyroid related problems and so on.
In the United States, hundreds of thousands of elderly people live alone. The fear of getting old, and being unable to care for self or falling down and not being able to get up or call out for help etc can terrify the phobic..
How afraid are you?
Getting old also means retirement, death of near and dear ones etc. The thought of losing a spouse, losing one’s income, not being able to support self or loved ones financially are depressing thoughts that may lead to the phobia.
Gerascophobia can also be attributed to firsthand or secondhand negative experiences related to aging. The phobic might have seen the difficulties faced after getting old. Possibly, his parent might have developed debilitating conditions like Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, AMD or other age related degeneration. They even might have been sent to a retirement home or required full time assistance. Growing old thus translates to becoming dependent on others, losing one’s self esteem and “being weak”. All these factors play heavily on the phobic’s mind.
Symptoms of the fear of getting old phobia
Different people have different reactions to the fear of getting old phobia. Some are so overwhelmed by the thought of aging that it leads to a full blown anxiety/panic attack with following symptoms:
- Feeling dizzy, fainting
- Shaking, shivering, developing chills
- Thoughts of death or dying,
- Palpitations and rapid breathing
- Inability to think or express oneself clearly- feeling disconnected with reality
- Feeling total loss of control- feeling as if one is going mad.
Naturally, all these symptoms can greatly affect one’s day-to-day life and cause one to become completely withdrawn and depressed. Excessive worrying also leads to stress which can cause health problems like high blood pressure or heart disease. Naturallt, the phobia affects one’s personal and professional lives.
How old are you?
Treatment for the phobia
It is completely possible to get over Gerascophobia using a combination of self help techniques and medical intervention. However, the cure for this phobia mainly depends on how the phobic accepts aging as a natural part of life.
Few of the recommended therapies for overcoming the fear of getting old include:
Exposure therapy– This is closely related to CBT or cognitive behavior therapy. It includes 5 steps-Evaluation, Feedback, Developing fear hierarchy, Exposure and Building upon the rationalization steps. CBT or Exposure therapists help the patient rethink his thoughts and responses about getting old in order to control them better. Exposure may also include, in varying degrees, stimuli that involve seeing pictures or videos about old age and then using the flooding technique to overcome the Gerascophobia once and for all.
Energy Psychology or the Emotional Freedom Technique- This is a form of acupuncture therapy without needles. It helps get to the bottom of the phobia by removing negative association with getting old.
What is your gender?
Hypnotherapy and Psychotherapy are two other techniques of overcoming Gerascophobia once and for all.
The phobic’s loved ones should also support the individual as much as possible. Self help techniques like yoga, meditation, positive visualization along with modern medications can also help overcome the fear to a great extent. Many modern techniques and remedies are similar to the mythical fountain of youth; they are proven to help retain one’s beauty and health longer. That being said; it is essential to accept aging as a natural process and consider life as a gift. By aging gracefully, living for others and finding one’s passions in the form of good books, drama, art etc one can look at things in a positive manner and overcome the fear of getting old.
Robin says
I’m having a current flare up of this. I’ve had this phobia from a young age. I had a lot of terrible stuff happen to me as a child but also lots of fun but the anxiety attacks used to be about dying, then they switched to aging. Since 16 it’s been debilitating at times. I got married at 18, had a baby at 20, spent my 20’s working as a nursing assistant and cashier and now I’m 31 not knowing what I want to accomplish or who I am. At 27 I had my first full on depression and was diagnosed with GAD and depression. Since November after a falling out with my older sister Panic Syndrome started and I lost 50 lbs in 6 months. I’m currently having another episode based on a visit home and I have to constantly remind myself that the old folks we see nowadays came from a vastly different time and that our old age homes will be filled with technology. Medical advancements are going to have us in our own homes longer. We are currently the longest living generation for humans. We are fearing what we know now without optimism of what it could be. Having mental illness is no joke and I hope you are all taking care of yourselves. Let’s keep trying for optimism!
Bev Grauman says
I am about to turn 65 and I cannot wait to turn 66 so I can finally retire from work. I have been in social services for 30 years and I have nothing left to give. I do not fear growing old, but I do fear becoming mentally or physically incapacitated. I have adult children but do not think they will want to care for me if or when this happens. I work in a health clinic and I see people in their early 50’s and late 40’s who look older than me. I am still pretty physical and I really think staying active is your best defense against aging. I have seen 30 year olds have strokes and 50 year olds die of heart attacks. I think the key is to make good friends and then be there for each other. Create the family you will need for support. The older I get the more I believe a good support group of friends is invaluable as you age. It is your other old friends who will be at your bedside.
Robin says
Thank you for this! I’m 31 and have had this phobia since I was 15! I had a baby at 20 and now with middle school approaching I’m wondering what direction I should go in my life. I spent 5 years in home care seeing what happens at the worst and it did not make growing old look fun. I have to remind myself that if they were healthy, they wouldn’t have needed a caregiver.
Eddie says
I’m 55 yrs old and dread very much each passing day of getting older. I suffered from panic anxiety and depression almost my entire life. I never enjoyed my life besides when I was 14 yrs old with my grandmother who took care of me and took me to Germany to visit my relatives way back in 1975. The rest of my life afterwards was nothing but misery depression and no happiness. I really do not understand the meaning of life and death besides being sad emotionally. I hope there is an afterlife and a much better place than the one I have experienced.
kelvin says
Old age is beautiful when an individual has lived a fulfilled life. The joy that springs forth in your heart when you see how much impact you have made on the younger folks around you keeps you refreshed at old age.
Tom W. says
I’m 60 years old. I just stumbled upon this site today. I liked the comments on here. I have never been married and no kids. I live by myself. I enjoy living by myself, but I have fears, sometimes, that something will happen to me. I don’t fear death, though I feel like I’m not ready for it. I fear more of not being well and alone. I live in a condo complex now where it’s very hard for me to make friends. The neighbors are all into themselves. And the neighbors are young, coupled, in a group, and in a family. They don’t need me.
I’m in good health now. I workout and go bike riding frequently. I look younger than my age, some people say. One time I had prostate cancer and had surgery for it two years ago. I was pretty much alone when I went through it. I don’t know how I made it through. I don’t want that to happen again. As of right now things are going very well; except I don’t have many friends. And I have very little family with hardly any contacts with them.
My sister has asked me to move in with her. She has a husband and two children. She’s 11 years older than me and the two kids are in their late teens. I’d rather not move to that area and be with them. I never liked the area where they are and it seems like there’s way too much drama for me. Yet, I fear that there will come a day when I may regret not making that move. But now I feel that I would regret making the move there. Besides, I’m not so sure if my sister and her husband are in good health. My sister does not sound good when she talks to me. She says she’s fine, but I find it hard to believe. She always sound very tired and can drift off into sleep while talking to me in the middle of the day.
Peter Hanley says
What better place to go for your birthday than Florida? Everybody must think of Florida as a birthday destination. The perfect place to go for your birthday is the Fountain of Youth Archaeological Park in St. Augustine, Florida.
annie says
followup post please
Agingsucks says
I have been having non-stop panic for over a week about turning 30. 30 seems so old and I feel like my life is almost over. My biggest fear about aging is death. I don’t believe in an afterlife and I’m terrified of not existing anymore. I would suffer through pain and looking ugly and old if I could live longer. Time is going by so fast and in the blink of an eye, I’ll be on my death bed. Sometimes I wish I was never born so I never would have had to experience life just to lose everything.
Jackie says
This too I shall agree with…. it hurts so much.
Alison Browning says
I am terrified of aging, more of aging than death and always have been, as I am barren and had no children and my family are dying off as I have hit 50 I won’t be one of these old people with family all around as I will have no family, I fear above all going into a care home, I worked in these hell holes with many staff especially younger ones who had a crap attitude to residents, they were lazy good for nothings with no respect and when people have Dementia they are totally 100% at the mercy of those caring for them. I dread that not being in control, being incontinent and having to be fed and changed and knowing some carers cut corners and won’t wash me to my high standards, in care homes I always washed my residents well and made them comfy and got a hard time for not speeding , I thought two fingers to you staff and your sick attitudes I will take as long as I like making my patients comfortable and treated with dignity. I lost my granny to Alzheimers and my dad to Lewy Body dementia and it’s hell seeing someone become helpless and having life robbed away bit by bit . I wish I could just drop dead one day or go in my sleep and if I am told I have Dementia I shall take the easy way out. I hope in the future there will be the right to assisted suicide if the patient wants this, there must be no pressure and for it to be entirely their decision when they have the mental capacity to make that choice. I have been age phobic since my 20s because of the utter fear and dread of being in a nursing home.
Jackie says
I agree with everything you said… except… suicide…..sorry. I feel your pain…. I’m a CNA and yes 99% of them here in Los Angeles are pitiful.
annie77777 says
I agree.
Near sixty and have seen too much of what happens to the elderly. I want out before that happens to me. Do not want to cling to life as I see so many doing. For what? A few extra years? Nothing, not even a wink in time when one considers that the earth has been around for billions, billions of years.
Amy says
Hi Alison! I understand I’m replying to this comment a year or so later and you might not see this, but I came here too because I recently had a flash of this and I’m 19!
I just turned 19 about 2 weeks ago and I had a horrific dream about my parents dying. It sounds strange, but my dad’s currently approaching 50 and he’s quite unwell at the moment, so for me, I started viewing 50 as the age to fear. Then my mum, who had me at 18 and is currently almost 37, comments that she feels incredibly old. So 37 is the age now that I started to fear, which is now 17 years away from me.
However, the one thing I can reassure you on at least from my personal experience is the fear of being in care. I can’t speak for every care home, but my family’s business is actually running a care home for people with dementia – my grandparents, at 74 and 72, still run it hands on, and the majority of people in my family work there. I spent time there from the age of 5 regularly to the present day, and all of my experiences have been so positive there, and every resident that I’ve ever met there has been so happy. Joan, for example, thinks every Saturday is her wedding day. So her beaming husband of 68 years comes in every Saturday dressed to the nines so that the two of them can have their weekly wedding. Super Ron (or Helen Keller as we call him) is turning 100 next month! He’s also completely blind, partially deaf, yet ironically his favourite thing to do is listen to Clive the musician, who comes in every Thursday. Plus, he always has a great big beaming smile on his face! So, take it from me that whilst there are people who cruelly take advantage of the elderly, there are also in spades amazing places for them to spend their final years, as I’ve been privileged to experience my whole life.
Kat says
I’m 34, single, unhappy with my job, life choices, etc.. I’m in therapy for anxiety and major depression that started a few months before my birthday in September. ( always had a little bit of both though but just kind of dealt with it) To top it all off, I am absolutely TERRIFIED of getting older. Just the thought of being 35 makes me want to cry and go into a panic, forget 40, 50 , and older. I didn’t realize this is an actual phobia until recently and I’ve never been actually diagnosed but it sounds like something I should look into. My biggest fear is dying obviously but getting older also means you lose your looks ( as a woman this is terrible), you get wrinkles, become unattractive and invisible to anyone of the opposite sex, health problems arise, you get passed over for jobs for someone younger, younger people think you’re ancient and out of touch, the list goes on. I’m so scared that I don’t even tell people my age. I’m lucky that right now I could still pass for 22. Everyone in my office is a lot older than me and they assume I’m in my 20s. And I just let them think what they want, I have never once mentioned my age out of fear of judgement and ridicule, and also the fact that saying it out loud makes it real. I can honestly say that I would kill to be in my 20s again. Yes I know that’s not normal and ridiculous but I can’t stop the thoughts. It’s so hard to deal with since there’s no way to stop it. The only way to stop aging is to die and I’m scared of that too so I would never even attempt suicide. I don’t know how to control these thoughts and I feel like they’re getting worse.
Alex says
Hey-Im Alex. I have been a healthcare provider many years and really understand how it feels to see others when they are older and helpless-and without family. I share your fear lately-I do not have children and my family is small and getting older. I wonder how I will end up. Although I am very youthful and just hit 54-it gets a bit scary to consider. I guess the main thing I wonder is “WHO” I would have to watch out for me. lol. The other fear that might be natural is will we be alone always to the end? I think we need to figure out how to focus on being more of a part of things – like churches, etc so we are not so alone at the end. My hopes are to care for my family and always have them but we must also learn to integrate with others. My thoughts are with you!
Asia Moore says
I know this post is old but everything that you said I can relate to 100% I need help really! the thoughts wont go away its 9:17 at night and I’m researching this smh I never knew this was even a phobia.
Pauline says
If u r scared of getting old then do things that will keep you feeling & thinking young, join a yoga group,a craft or gardening group, learn to use a computer, stay social arrange to meet friends for coffee once a week.Read books & try your hand at learning something new.If you don’t have a pet get one, dogs & birds are easily trained, cats r a challenge but a good challenge. Photography is a great hobby. Find a club. Make new friends. Most of all think young.God Bless you all.
Latin says
If it was true that Jesus Christ resurrected… oh my! That should radically change our worldview, and specially of course the fear of getting old.
For all those persons afraid of aging, please read More than a Carpenter by Josh Mcdowell
Alicia Moreno says
when i was little i had a dream where my grandma who was already dead appeared and we were all in the kitchen and then when i looked into the mirror i was old from that day for a couple of weeks i couldnt even look at an old person i was afraid of my own grandpa. It went away but after that year but every time it was the end of the year my phobia would always appear i wasnt afraid of old people anymore but that feeling would just appear every year at the end of it today i finally told my mom like 12 years later lol i feel so much better and honestly i read the bible and i pray to God im a Jehovah’s Witness and the bible talks about how we will live in a paradise and stay young and live forever and in Psalm 37:29 “The righteous will possess the earth, And they will live forever on it”
Alison Browning says
I lost my religion, I do miss it but there’s just no way it’s relevant to me anymore.
annie77777 says
Here I go again agreeing with you.
I lost my immortality story. I, too, miss it, but when you have come to this “place”, there is no going back.
Yasmine Ayad says
I just graduated from high school and the thought of college and growing up terrifies me. I’m constantly thinking that I’m getting closer to death. And this leaves me terrified. I want to stop thinking about it but I can’t, please help me.
Alison Browning says
I understand I have been this way since my youth, it’s horrible, I have anti depressants and did have therapy but could no longer afford it. It is crippling. I am 50 now and not over it yet
Exxx. says
Hey I’m the same. I just graduated like two days ago. It makes me feel sick that I’ll be 20 in a year. It just keeps on going. And time doesn’t stop.
Doomed Doff says
Tayanita could be my little sister,I am 62 and facing life alone as my 2 grown children are flying the nest soon.
I have always dreaded death/growing old/loosing any “youthful looks” I may still have .
On the whole I enjoy my own company, I have a few friends to whom I keep in touch with, however the boney hand of aging and death forever rests on my shoulders.
I dread any news about any of my relatives dying..the thought of the long sad journey and the tears…just make me feel sick. I try to push the dark thoughts away,” put them in a box”..but they still creep out at night.
I am involved with my art,(as I am a retired Art Teacher),but my lack of confidence,shyness over my work and general LAZINESS has prevented me from exhibiting.
Life is what you make of it, I am painfully aware that MILLIONS are worse of than I…I just wish I was born with an optimistic active personality,instead of the “WE are all Doomed one”…even the thought of the sun dying in a billion years gives me a gut wrenching fear…silly huh?
Alison Browning says
I feel the same, it’s worse for me as I was barren and had no family so dread a lonely old age and ending up in a home with no one to visit me even
Greg - Editor East Coast Stories says
Zombie movies are really about people’s fear of getting old. Zombies are a allegory for old people. Zombies walk slowly, no longer remember who they are yet somehow congregate at places that used to be familiar to them. People you once knew and loved turn into Zombies. It is considered more merciful to kill them then to let them remain in that condition. (This is the secret opinion of many people that dead is better than old). The flip side to this is the popularity of Nostalgia stories. Everything used to be better when you were young. (On my own website, nostalgia stories are some of the most popular.)
Neither reveling in the Past or fearing the Future is any way to live. The best advice to follow every day is to “be where you are.”
Pauline says
Zombie movies are about the undead, not about old people. Zombies are not real.
John McDonald says
Im 51 And i also Have a Great Fear of Getting old, And im just not sure How to deal with it and overcome it, So if anyone can Help me, Please do, My Email is JMcD777 @ gmail.com
max conde says
Hi I’m 22 years old and I’m very scared of growing older, I know it is inevitable and I know it is reality but I’m still frightened by it. I don’t want my friends or family to die before me, I’ve already had friends and family members who have passed and I still feel sad about their passing. It’s weird because I know and understand the reality of it but it still scares me.
Tayanita says
I’m practically a child. Getting older scares me so much, that I end up crying. When I was younger, I would sit and think about my mother, and my two older brothers dying, and me being by myself. I’m afraid of getting closer to death. It’s not something I’m good at dealing with. I really don’t want to deal with it. I don’t know if I have this phobia or not because I don’t do any of the symptoms, but I mostly just end up crying and feeling dreadful.
Joseph Dabon says
I turned 68 a week ago. Before I turned 40, I constantly dreamed that I would die when I reached that age. A day before my birthday, I stayed home, didn’t go out, prayed that it would be a painless death. Then watched and waited until the clock struck midnight.
And you know what? Nothing happened. I did not die. I later rationalized that my dreams of dying were a subconscious fear of getting old.
Now I am old and I have never enjoyed life as much as now. The only difference between now and so many years before is our age. Otherwise, who is stopping you from living your life the way you want to? Have fun and be merry for we shall never pass this way again.
Nima says
The best comment.
Jaxkie makxie says
Another year you’re getting older but you get scared, it’s natural, it’s got to happen one day I think I’ve got Gerascophobia but a really minor case due to this happens rarely. Bless up.
Diana Mallaney says
I am 64 in June, and terrified of the ageing process. I am on my own for the first time, and I feel very lonely although I reach out to others for support.
I don’t know how to cope with this and it is impinging on all areas of my life.
Anna kay says
Hi Diana Mallaney, I can just imagine what a difficult time you are having transitioning in this phase of your life. I would suggest that you try to remain as social as possible to deal with the feelings of loneliness. For example: join a book club, attend church, you can even mentor youths within your community. Also try to involve your family in all areas of your life as much as possible. All the best 🙂
Joe bloggs says
Didn’t want to leave my name or email but I have a serious phobia of ageing . I will not be celebrating my next birthday and have told all friends and family to abide by this. I avoid every single invitation to socialize in fact I haven’t been out with friends for 20 years. It’s not for the fear of being alone as I love my own company it’s the way I will look when I’m old. I do not want to get old and really hope I don’t, I would rather go out of this world now than grow old.
Alison Browning says
I feel exactly the same . My fear is not being alone and not even of being dead it is of being helpless and ending up in a care home at the mercy of indifferent staff , I worked in the care profession for years and sadly most staff in those places should not be working there. When my older relatives have died there will be no one as I was unable to have kids. So no one to fight my ground if I get Dementia and end up in a home.
annie says
Please post where you at today, emotionally. I have similar fears, very realistic fears I might add, and find them quite overwhelming. Thank you