Apeirophobia or the fear of infinity is an extreme phobia about eternal or everlasting things such as life, death etc. No one lives forever, but even the very idea of doing so is extremely scary for the individual suffering from it. The word Apeirophobia comes from the Greek word Apeiro which means infinity and phobos which means dread, aversion or fear. Let us study the symptoms, causes and treatment options for Apeirophobia.
Causes of Apeirophobia
Apeirophobia is a complex phobia and like all other complex phobias, it can have several factors playing a role in it:
- A traumatic episode– The concept of eternity or infinity is usually linked to death. A child, for example, may be told that his grandma who has passed is now sleeping ‘eternally’. The child’s mind might try to grasp at this concept failing which, it could scare him/her for life. At a young age, this can lead to a lasting impression on the mind.
- Learned response– Often, anxieties and phobias are picked up from others. Children often pick the fear of a particular concept, in this case infinity, from a parent or from movies.
- Genetics– Genes play a huge role in the development of anxiety. Some people are just born more anxious than others.
Someone once said: “Eternity can be a very long time, especially towards the end”. The concept of waiting and waiting forever or just feeling and experiencing the ups and downs of life for a long time to come can be huge burden and a heavy concept for the phobic’s mind to grasp. Many popular culture books and movies have toyed with this idea. Vampires, fairy folk, magical creatures are known to live forever and though these characters and stories are usually romantically depicted, there is also a downside to them. All these factors impact how the phobic views the concept of infinity or timelessness.
Symptoms of Fear of Infinity Phobia
The symptoms of fear of infinity phobia involve experiencing physical, emotional and mental symptoms when faced with the situation of thinking or talking about infinity. Physical symptoms include:
- Dry mouth
- Sweaty palms
- Tightness in chest
- Hot or cold flushes
- Nausea, vomiting or diarrhea
- Numbness
- Dizziness or fainting
- Feeling like choking
- Shaking or trembling
Other emotional symptoms of Apeirophobia are:
- Thoughts of death or dying
- Feeling a sense of detachment from reality
- Fear of embarrassing oneself or of losing control
- Having thoughts of death or dying
For some phobics, these symptoms could be very severe and could even cause a panic attack. Experiencing an acute fear can also be embarrassing and very frightening. It can affect relationships and make the phobic feel stressed, anxious or depressed all the time. To avoid having these thoughts and feelings, the individuals often try and avoid situations where they may have to think about the concept. Such fearful thoughts often intensify at nighttime before bed. Trying to avoid the fear makes things worse and, over time, could start impacting one’s quality of life. Many patients even become suicidal.
Treatment options for Apeirophobia
There are various techniques to manage Apeirophobia and reduce the impact it has on one’s life. The most important thing is to manage anxiety and panic attacks. Meditation, breathing techniques, yoga and stretching, and mindfulness etc can help. Find a class nearby that can teach you these principles.
Next, the patient must join a support group. The very fact that ‘one is not alone’ while dealing with all this can be extremely comforting. Patients could also read up about the phobia and use online programs based on Cognitive Behavior therapy.
Cognitive Behavior Therapy or CBT helps one identify connections between thoughts, feelings and behavior which eventually help develop practical skills to manage anxiety causing situations. This therapy might also include desensitization therapy where the phobics are exposed to their fears, in this case the fear of infinity, in a controlled and safe manner. CBT can also be offered online or using a workbook alongside meeting a therapist on a regular basis. Talk therapy and counseling sessions with a psychiatrist can also help.
Hypnotherapy is another effective therapy for Apeirophobia. One must choose a certified professional having a great deal of experience in this field. Apart from these techniques and particularly for extreme cases, medicines may be useful. Tranquilizers, antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications can all be used but these must be taken with extreme caution. Long term use of such medicines could lead to significant adverse effects and chemical dependency.
It can be very beneficial if friends and family members can be supportive of the patient.
Andrew says
It’s been really comforting reading these comments.
I first suffered from this as a boy. No one understood and thought I was just being silly.
I’m Catholic, so I have always believed in the afterlife. I can think about and even teach it, and I’m fine. Then I hear something or read something seemingly innocuous, and it hits me again.
It’s like a feedback loop, a microphone in front of a speaker, and I can’t stop it.
I’ve dealt with it in the past by physically hurting myself or drinking or burying my head in the pillow and crying.
I didn’t even realize it was a phobia, but I came across the term a few years ago by chance. Then, a couple of years ago, I had a student who suffered from it too. Knowing others suffer from this helps, but my God, it’s the worst when it hits.
I pray we can all overcome this phobia.
God bless
Deborah says
I once had it as a kid, and I was really in love with God, as my mother would tell me. She said I wouldn’t sleep until God did. At night before bed, I would look up at the sky. I prayed every day before bed. And then I stopped. I assume because they kept telling us in the church that we would live for eternity. So every time I thought about Christianity, it was directly associated with eternity, which terrified me. Now I’m getting saved again and trying to be a full Christian, and the fear has come back worse than ever. So much that I’m afraid of everything now. Nobody I know gets it. My mother doesn’t even understand how it’s possible to be afraid of this. And so, I’m here going crazy. I pray about it, but the damn thing is so persistent, and I want to face it instead of running from it.
Anirudh says
I get these feelings. And yeah, it is hard to make someone understand. But now I know I am not alone.
Anirudh says
If you ever want to discuss it with someone, feel free to contact me. I think it will help both of us if we know someone who understands.
Del says
Here is something I emailed a phobia specialist about. I didn’t actually see a doctor.
A long time ago (January 4th, 1990, to be exact), I was an 18-year-old kid cleaning a carburetor with an aerosol cleaner in a somewhat enclosed shed. It overwhelmed me, and I fell down, hallucinating about really weird stuff. I suddenly had the startling existential realization that none of us should be here; nothing should exist. (This is really hard for me to type, I’m sorry if it sounds crazy). Since then, I’ve had this recurring, extremely soul-shaking experience of helplessly traveling along this timeline at a high rate of speed. I see myself going through my entire life and zipping along until the end of time, whenever and whatever that is. I feel like I may be in some sort of existence loop – yes, like Groundhog Day, only it seems like forever instead of a day, and it’s not funny. During these attacks, I see myself doing things I feel like I “remember” doing infinite amounts of times, and I have no control over them. Now for the irrational part. I feel like *I* may be the only somewhat conscious soul capable of seeing this loop (because maybe no one else exists?). I’ve never actually witnessed the end of this loop cycle because I’m too afraid I’ll cease to exist if I see it, or I’ll know for sure that I’m in a looped hell. Also, I feel like someone is maybe laughing at me for experiencing this. So freaking weird.
I have been able to break free of this by concentrating really hard on something else. The first time it happened, it took me months to be able to control, and now I’m to the point that I control them pretty well, but I’m afraid that someday I won’t be able to. It shakes me to the core every single time. Sometimes I can feel it coming and quickly concentrate on something else, but even then, it scares me to death (and I’m afraid I will embarrass myself in front of people). I’ve only ever told my wife and haven’t even told her as much as I’ve typed here for fear of a recurrence.
After the phobia specialist responded to me and explained that she experienced something similar to my issue, I was strangely comforted by the fact that other people suffered from this. It made me so comfortable that I stopped having these episodes altogether. I don’t even experience triggers anymore. After 30 years, they are GONE! I was so miserable, and maybe all I ever had to do was just talk through it with someone. But that was half the problem (as I look back). Talking about it triggered it.
Anyway, I really hope this helps you, and I would be glad to talk about this with anyone who needs it.
Gio says
Thank you, I needed this article for my essay on fears and phobias.
S says
I don’t have these ideas, but I came here while doing research to help a client. I am a professional and just want to say to all of you that: what you think and feel is important! You are never the only one! And I believe a good mental health professional can help you by finding some adequate techniques to deal with this terrible anxiety problem. Don’t stay alone on this journey!
dumbledorious says
I’ve only recently begun to have this issue. I’m in my 30s and the first near-attack I had was out of nowhere. Didn’t understand it and tried to find the underlying problem. A few weeks go by and I’m looking at fractal patterns, namely the Mandelbrot Set animation (trigger warning), which nearly caused a panic attack. The next was when I watched a discussion on existential and psychological topics which cause another. Most of these attacks, which I’ve fortunately been able to stop before the point of no return, had always been either a word or a phrase visualized in repetition as if it were a bottomless drain with a gravitational-like pull. The way I’ve been able to combat (if that’s the right word) so far was to instantly do something physical like Wim Hof breathing or some other external distraction like videos on the tube which have worked. However, I wouldn’t be able to sleep after that.
I hope everyone here can find out that underlying problem and really demolish this fear. I don’t know about everyone else here, but I wouldn’t say I have a fear about infinity or existential thoughts, I’ve always had a deep curiosity for them, so I’m not sure why it’s become a trigger.
Mirin says
This fear came to me a week ago; I assumed it was just an irrelevant thought that formed in my mind (some of my thoughts come and dissipate). However, the day after, my fear worsened, and then it got far worse from there. I thought of living forever and becoming bored with my life because there would be no new, interesting activities to engage in anymore. My mind kept dwelling (and continues to dwell) on such thoughts like that one; to make things worse, I also have a fear of death (and getting older). So now not only do the thoughts of living forever (and being alone for eternity) frighten me, but the thoughts of getting older in age, dying, then an eternity of nothingness also frighten me. I still want to live indefinitely, which is why I am researching bio-medical gerontology to reverse aging, then possibly neglect cellular senescence (so biological-indefinite-mortality can be achieved). But I want to get over my fear of living forever (or at least indefinitely), and most of all, I do not want to feel alone (even though others are around me). So many fears that I have of: living forever, getting older, dying, the future, being alone, and failure.
? says
Go for it.
Tom T. says
There are several scenarios that set off my thoughts associated with never ending physics, problems with no solutions or the unknown. Over the past 55 years I’ve found a way to live for tomorrow, enjoy nature, and be humble each new morning. Following this model has helped me enjoy the simple and amazing life around me. Not needing to fill my head with the unknown and become frustrated or depressed.
Look around you and enjoy the littlest of things, sunshine, insects, flowers, trees, birds, these keep me in the now. I also found that exercise, walking in the forest, park, woods helps to release endorphins that relieve stress. Hope this helps.
mia says
This comment makes me feel better about it. I’m 15 years old and when I search about apeirophobia it usually relates to eternal life, but never to eternal physics, or biology, or whatever. Thanks for making me feel better :)
someone says
Hey, I’m a 15 year old from West Virginia. I have been suffering from this for years. I just can’t stand to think life will never end, it drives me crazy and I need help. If anyone could give any pointers on how to get this to go away. It’s really haunting me.
Anonymous says
Hello, I’m a 14 year old boy from Czech Republic. I’ve been suffering from this a lot for the last couple of years. Only thing that was helping me when I started to panic was I needed to talk to someone. So immediately contact someone when you start to feel anxious. Hope it helped, have a nice day.
a person says
I am also 15 and suffering from this. Every time I wake up I get these thoughts. Every hour for like 4 days now. I am going crazy.
Sad Potato says
Oh, I’m so sorry you have to go through it. I was 10 when it started, and I still go through it even when I’m 24. I cannot promise that it’ll go away, but you learn to live with it.
Unavailable says
I am 10 now and from the US, and I feel like it will just never end. The cycle keeps going, and stars just die and then get reborn. They never really die, so why does metal have to rust but not us? We just decay and go to the flowers, then get eaten, and then that goes on forever.
Brittany says
I was around 14-15 when this panic set in for me. I am now 30 years old. I am happy to inform you that it is absolutely possible to overcome. Like many others on this thread, it is truly taking in the beauty that what we have now on this earth and recognizing the thought cycle when it is happening. Talking to someone else about your thoughts or grounding yourself in nature (or literally laying on the ground) while taking deep breaths can be helpful. I find it is easier to use these techniques before getting into the thick of these spiraling thoughts. But once you are there, knowing that it will pass (because it ALWAYS does, no matter how hard it gets) I am so happy to see this is a discussion, it is healing seeing all the support and feedback. Know that you are strong and that your ability to think deeply is a gift.
Vitalis says
I’m really appalled by the colossal numbers that seem to share the same exact concern as that of mine.
I never knew that we could be many people suffering the same style.
For me, the thoughts attacks me in all fronts:
I think of the endless universe and, how small and insignificant I am, but, both of these are nothing compared to the next one: imaging that I’ll live forever. To where?
Whenever that intrusive thought attacks me, mostly after short naps, out of the sleep in the middle of the night, I jump out of bed and start pacing the room.
The thought started visiting me when I was around ten. But it seems as I grew up, the thoughts took much newer dimensions and the space between the attacks has been closer and closer.
At some point I had managed to stay almost a year without the thought and felt like I had dealt with the problem. But then again it came back with full force.
Trying to closely trace where the fear comes from, from a far, I always sense it’s just maybe due to the fact that what dominates my mind is the impending fear of ‘exhaustion of resources’ and not trusting the fact that resources can replenish with same strength and vigor. That midway, something may happen and that no one can ever be there to replenish them, in conjunction with the idea that we can never predict anyone at a course of time even if they promise to keep the promise of making things right.
Sad Potato says
I had the exact same experience. I once read somewhere someone referred to it as Pandora’s box, that once open for someone would remain open forever, and there is no going back. Also, it’s like a realization, not exactly a phobia (yes, it does trigger intense fear but not until I’m fully aware of it). Sometimes I just don’t care. Even if I try to think about it, it doesn’t happen. Other times it comes crashing upon me out of nowhere. I also started having it when I was around 10 years old, and it’s been the same ever since. I’m 24 now, and it seems that I recently moved out of it, probably because I started talking about it more and more. This is not exactly pleasing to me either because I believe it’s the fundamentals of my existence and I should be contemplating it, but at the same time, my mind becomes numb when I try to think harder about it and refuse to come back. That’s where fear dawns upon me, and I pull myself back.
Christina says
Hi there. I am looking for answers about these immobilizing fears, and I wanted to ask if you found anything that has helped calm your nerves long-term. What practices do you do to help aid in relieving these panic attacks?
mark griffiths says
This sensation of dread has been creeping up on me for a few months (and I have been using psychedelics) but just 2 days ago reached a crescendo when the concept of eternity became overwhelmingly disorienting and I searched yesterday to discover it is traumatizing other people too, which sucks but makes me not feel so alone. I plan to read through all of your posts as I am curious to know how you cope. This is new to me and I am formulating ideas that I will willingly share. I’m glad I found you and honestly think this unconscious dread has been a detrimental influence in my life. Right now I remind myself “this moment is eternity and that makes sense” and I am relieved.
MH says
I just happened upon this article and was glad to see that I am not the only one who fears the concept of infinity. I don’t believe in an eternal afterlife, but I fear that space and time has no end. The Big Bang happened approx. 15 billion years ago, but what happened before it? An earlier Big Bang, and before that, etc, you catch my drift. Same with space – the universe continues to expand, but what lies beyond the edge of the universe? I just can’t wrap my head around it, and if I think too much about it, I panic.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve concluded that we perceive all dimensions, so there must be another dimension where it all makes sense. That dimension could be God, and this helps me calm down.
emily says
It’s not the thought of eternity after death, more of being immortal, seeing everything horrible and be trapped with that forever and never be able to escape your own thoughts once the world dies. It terrifies me to think that if you have the “ability” to live forever and let’s say fall of a building, that may be a time when you would’ve died but you’re not able to, so you’re therefore suffering.
Sarah says
Emily, this is my fear too. It’s just awful. I do know deep down that this could never be the case but that doesn’t stop the irrational part of my brain thinking about the worst case scenario of suffering for eternity. I had a horrible dream last night. It reminds me that this fear is still there and I have to get some support with it. How are you at the moment?
Jess says
Hi Sarah, how are you coping with these thoughts now? Hope you don’t mind me asking, as you posted this ages ago.
Jess
Frank says
Hey Jess, glad to know there’s still people on this website commenting. What are your tips on overcoming this fear?
Eric Johnson says
Thank you for the information.
I have had this phobia my entire life (since I was about 8 years old and comprehended eternity). I am now 50 and it’s getting worse. I wish I could take medication for it.
I always thought that everyone MUST have this horrific fear. But I have asked everyone (my ex-wife, girlfriends, brothers, sisters, friends, etc.) and NO ONE has this debilitating fear except for me (and also the few people on this site).
I am a Christian and believe that I am going to Heaven forever and ever and ever, which is wonderful, but it still REALLY freaks me out! The anxiety attacks are so horrible! I really wish that I could take medication for this because when it hits me I want to commit suicide (which I would never do because I don’t want to go to hell for ETERNITY)!
But it is such a paralyzing fear. I don’t think that a support group would help because that would make me think about this terrifying fear even more. I just want it to go away, but it probably never will.
But it’s nice to know that I’m not crazy and that there are other people in this world that have this same, horrific phobia.
Thank you and may God bless the world.
mark griffiths says
Why don’t you take anti anxiety medicine? I often do when the thought becomes obsessive. Do you have a certain vision of being in heaven and is there any scenario that conceivably brings you more comfort?
jmshistorycorner says
I’m a Christian and believe I’ll go to Heaven as well, but the thought of living forever and ever – even in Heaven – still scares me. I seem to be the only person I know who has it; as much as it sucks to have it, it does make me feel a little better knowing that I’m far from the only one.
Sarah says
I’m so sorry you’re struggling with it. I’m on sertraline (Zoloft) and this definitely helps my fears. What helps me is that eternity is not linear. It’s not a human ‘concept’ of time or eternity, it just is. It always has been. Just like we can’t remember before we were born. That’s because we weren’t separate from God. We aren’t separate from God now either but the human mind has separated itself from the whole, from God. But even that is an illusion. When we die, we just give up the body and fall right back into unconditional love. We are the eternal part. We are eternity. We aren’t something which experience it. I still have the fear about all of it but knowing I’m never separated from God reminds me that my fears are unfounded. How are you at the moment? This eternal moment?
Sad Potato says
For a long time, I thought the same, thinking that everyone might have it and, therefore, I shouldn’t trigger it for them by talking about it. Now it seems like not many people grasp its idea, or either they just don’t care. But I still avoid talking about it cause anyone with the tendency to develop might get triggered by it, and I’d never want to bestow such a curse on anyone, ever!
Jim says
I fear the infinite when it comes to distance, mass, and time. I’ve been severely effected by thought for about 2 years now, and i think its all linked to a psychedelic experience that pushed me past my limits. Im beginning to get better at maintaining my composure when the thought appears, but the thought is still there. When I think about an infinite constantly expanding mass of space it reminds me how nothing here really matters, but my brain just cant accept that.
Nana says
Well, for me, it’s not only thinking about religions or living forever; it’s also about being in the afterlife forever. Even if you passed and are unable to hold a conscious mind or can’t live, you are never coming back, forever. Never. That’s what happens to me when I think about eternity, at least. Sorry if I had to open that up to you as well, it is something that can keep you up at night.
Dont wanna tell says
Hi I am very young. I usually think about the fact AFTER dying and thinking about heaven and staying there FOREVER like it never ends. I have little panic attacks here and then like I keep yelling “it never ends” or “just think about it! What will happen” my heart starts pumping and I tell my mom and she holds my hand. That’s the only way I stop being scared. Thanks for letting me read this. I feel better now and have a grasp on this.
Michael says
Wow. I thought this only happens to me.
Whenever I think about Living Forever, I see it in my mind. Then I scream silently. I mean the scream is silent but in my mind it is loud. I keep praying this shouldn’t make me lose my mind. After reading this article, I am glad that i am not alone. Is there any support group I can join. Plus I think this only affects me in the entire African Continent.
Sad Potato says
I was about 10 or 11 when this thought hit me. Just imagine how it might have been for my tiny mind, and I’d do the same, go to my mom and tell her that I want to sleep in her arms, not mentioning why. That’d calm me a bit until I sleep, and I’d usually be fine after waking up. I’m 24 now, and it still hits me at times, but now I manage it on my own. I usually divert my attention to something else or just start pacing around, which helps me calm down a bit.
Gerry nicol says
Thanks I went on youtube to find out more. I’ve got a grip on it now. I’m awaiting to see a psychologist soon, hope to get more help as I’m feeling very anxious at the moment but I thank you so much, please keep in touch, yours gerry.