Tokophobia is the fear of pregnancy or childbirth and the word is derived from Greek tokos meaning childbirth and phobos which is intense fear or dread of a situation/object. Other names for this fear are Tocophobia, Enfantaphobia, Maieusiophobia or Parturiphobia.
The British Journal of Psychiatry first documented this phobia only a decade ago. Prior to this, there was very little knowledge about Tokophobia and it received very little attention than it deserved. Actor Helen Mirren confessed being a Tokophobe after having watched a film about childbirth that so disgusted her, she was put off having children and “never wanting to have anything to do with childbirth”.
Causes of Tokophobia
Tokophobia can be secondary or primary, meaning it can stem from prior bad experience or post partum/post traumatic stress disorders or it can happen to women who have not given birth previously. Most common causes of primary type of Tokophobia include history of sexual trauma, abuse, rape, termination of pregnancy, miscarriage, abortion, or other negative episodes related to overwhelming pain, bad hospital experiences etc.
News reports and stories about women, particularly one’s own mother, suffering from intense pain or even dying during vaginal childbirth can lead to fear of pregnancy in young/first time-to-be mothers. Often, experienced mothers love to exaggerate the ‘horrors’ they suffered during their labor to first-time pregnant women, not realizing that it is not the right thing to do.
To an extent, the fear of giving birth is normal, after all it is an event that most women experience only a few times in their lives. But, for Tokophobic individuals, this could mean a lifetime of fear of giving birth and having children that makes them delay or put off pregnancy. This often leads to arguments between spouses.
Symptoms of fear of pregnancy
Nearly 6 to 7% women worldwide suffer from Tokophobia. However, most do not talk about their fear until it is too late in the term. They then try to opt for caesarian deliveries but many obstetricians are not understanding or sensitive about their situation and this leads to huge anxiety for the mother.
Women suffering from the fear of pregnancy phobia are often mistaken as being “melodramatic” or “over reacting”. However, the sufferer experiences intense trauma stemming from the phobia. Nightmares, sweating, fear of death at the thought of giving birth often lead the individual to put off pregnancy forever, opt for elective cesarean or continually suffer from psychosomatic complaints.
Many Tokophobic women, especially those with a morbid fear of pregnancy, have been known to terminate their pregnancy midway because they are too scared to continue with it. Some women are not even aware of their phobia until they approach delivery. This is when they start having recurrent nightmares about the impending childbirth. Physical and psychological symptoms of Tokophobia vary depending on the intensity of the phobia.
- Increased heart rate, rapid breathing
- Panic and anxiety attacks
- Nightmares
- Sweating and trembling
- Crying, shaking, getting hysterical
- Having thoughts of death and dying
- Vomiting and nausea at the thought of having “something alive” and ‘growing’ inside one’s body.
- Some tokophobes start crying just by seeing a pregnant woman on the street or even hearing the word “delivery”.
Overcoming fear of pregnancy
Antidepressants and psychotherapeutic counseling are the most common methods of overcoming Tokophobia.
Talking about one’s fear of pregnancy is also known to help women overcome it to an extent. However, most are embarrassed and refuse to discuss it. Online and offline forums are a great place to give vent to such thoughts.
Cognitive behavior therapy, Hypnotherapy as well as EMDR (eye movement desensitization reprocessing) are few other forms of overcoming Tokophobia. EMDR is specifically known to have prompt effect and is a useful therapy even in advanced stages of pregnancy. It helps reduce the intense fear of pregnancy by processing previous traumatic memories associated with the phobia.
Sara D John says
Yes, for me, the thought of having another human growing inside of me is super weird and I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to get past that. However, I do like other people’s babies and I don’t mind watching them for a few minutes…just as long as they have a return address, I’ll be fine! 😊
Katrina says
I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I find prego women disgusting and repulsive. I literally look at them like they have leprosy or AIDS and will distance myself from them. I feel like an alien as I do not know why I have become this way.
Childfree by choice says
I don’t think it’s strong enough to be a phobia for me (I don’t start crying or panicking upon seeing a preggo) but I feel an unexplainable wave of disgust and anger. I also hate babies and small children so I never want any.
George ann says
I love babies but the fear of getting pregnant and delivery makes me sick even without getting pregnant.
Jannah Vincent Loves Pandas says
im 11 and have this fear…. when i was 7 (don’t worry, i knew where babies came from), i told my mom i wanted to have a baby when i got her age. she said something like; “Well, that’s great honey. I would be very proud of you. even if it hurts like hell.” I replied; “What do you mean?” and she answered: “Well honey, when you get a baby and it comes out of your tummy… it hurts. Like when you came out! you took 33 hours and it hurt like no tomorrow and–!” then i smoothly interrupted (lil grossed out); “Okayyyyyyyyyy thats all the time i have for today!”
But, now im terrified of getting one… i do NOT wanna experience that pain…
Shelley says
I don’t know how any woman could tolerate feeling something alive, squirming around inside her own torso. The idea of it makes me feel ill. And that’s before the parasite rips open your genitals to free itself. Ughhhh. I hate babies too. There’s literally no way I’d even consider having one.
Agreed says
Same! Oh, how relieved I am, I thought I was the only one feeling like this. Everything about babies creeps me out, anything about pregnancy and birth to the actual infants. Nothing about these things is beautiful or miraculous to me, more like repulsive and horrifying.
phobic says
I feel the absolute same and it freaks me out more now because I am in a heterosexual relationship. To be honest, sometimes I believe I’d kick myself if I found out I’m pregnant. I don’t dislike children but I have a deep feeling everyone was born accidentally, no one with a right mind would choose to be pregnant, everyone just cherishes pregnancy because they pity parents, so on and so forth. I know these are wrong feelings but even therapy and meds don’t help so it’s just something I gotta live with.