It may sound weird, but there are many people around the world who suffer from an intense fear of talking on the phone. Telephonophobia is the self explanatory name given to such severe anxiety.
Most ‘Telephonophobes’ prefer sending a text message or emailing their contacts, since, even the mere thought of ordering a pizza on the phone is enough to cause them to have a full blown panic attack. Telephonophobia could be a part of general social phobia though some people are known to suffer from the specific fear of talking on the phone. The telephone has come a long way since Alexander Graham Bell first invented it. Today, most of us cannot ‘live’ without our mobile or Smartphones. However, Telephonophobic individuals greatly dislike these devices and most prefer not to buy/use one at all.
What causes Telephonophobia?
Like in any social or specific phobias, the fear of talking on the phone might stem from a negative experience in one’s childhood. For example, one phobic recalls having developed Telephonophobia in her childhood after having been teased by friends that her (the caller’s) voice sounded like a man’s.
Secondly, the fear that a caller on the other end could be a prank caller can also lead one to become anxious about answering the phone.
Then there are Telephonophobes who have developed their phobia in adulthood after reading or hearing reports about mobile phones creating harmful electromagnetic fields that negatively affect health or cause brain tumors. In a sense, such individuals have a tendency towards Hypochondriachal neurosis as a result of which they develop a persistent fear of talking on the phone.
OCD or obsessive compulsive disorders may also be linked with Telephonophobia.
Some individuals might have received negative news (death, accident, illness etc of loved ones) over the phone. They start to fear that each time they answer the phone, they might tempt their “bad luck” and create some negative situation in their lives.
Finally, social anxiety is also a major contributor in this phobia. Most individuals suffering from the fear of talking on the phone feel that their ‘inabilities’ will be exposed when they are unable to speak or express themselves clearly. Even the mere ringing of the phone signals a string of anxieties or thoughts linked with “speaking, performing or conversing”.
Symptoms of fear of talking on the phone phobia
Telephonophobia can lead to a variety of physical and mental symptoms both at the thought of making a phone call or receiving one. These include:
- Full blown panic or anxiety attack
- Feeling terror
- Accelerated heartbeat, shortness of breath, sweating, trembling, shaking
- Dry mouth, nausea, feeling like running away
- Avoidance behavior: avoiding answering the phone or rarely initiating conversation, not ordering anything on the phone, refusing to make doctor’s appointments etc.
Thus, the phobia can affect one’s day-to-day life by causing one to avoid important activities, clarify information and may even negatively impact one’s career.
Ways of treating and coping with telephone phobia
- It is important to understand that the telephone is a device one is going to need all through one’s life as it is an important tool for communication which one must learn to love.
- If you recognize that you have a problem facing talking on the phone, then you must ensure seeking help for it. Talk to your doctor/therapist, loved ones and also get help through online forums.
- Gradually get over your Telephonophobia by directly confronting the fear. Start by calling no one in particular; simply pick up the phone and “initiate a conversation”. Alternatively, call some customer service line where you know there is only automated voice to answer your call.
- Positive visualization can also play an important role in helping the phobic handle phone calls successfully. Rewarding self with something nice after making the call can also help.
Other therapies to cope with Telephonophobia include cognitive behavior therapy (CBT), psychotherapy or hypnotherapy which must be done under the guidance of trained therapists.
John says
My phobia started in my first job (accountant). My boss used to call me if he had something for me to do. That ruined my schedule during work. He even called beyond office hours and during my leave. Most of the time when he called, he used to blame me for the unfavorable numbers he saw on my report. I tried to explain the nature of the transaction but he kept on resisting that it should not be there, but technically it should be for the purpose of transparency, accuracy and completeness of the report. But he kept on blaming me that the report was wrong and needed to be revised to soothe his eyes on the numbers. Until now even after I resigned, it still affects me as a professional and as an individual to the point that I block unknown numbers on my phone. I prefer people introduce themselves first through text before calling. And now a delivery guy who wanted to contact me failed to deliver my package because unknown numbers are blocked by my phone.
Mary Maxwell says
I find telephone calls nearly intolerable. For 40 years, I’ve worked in a job where I have challenging and difficult paper and computer work that requires concentration. I frequently get telephone calls that interrupt me and require a great deal of patience and diplomacy. These calls are becoming more frequent all the time. I cannot refuse to take the calls at work, and often become frustrated or angry. When I am at home, I often refuse to answer the phone unless I know who is calling. I also have a very unhappy relative who calls to complain, rant and rave, and ask for money. This has been going on for about 20 years. Therefore, the telephone has become a source of constant stress and anxiety, and I avoid it as much as possible. I don’t believe it is a phobia, or even a fear, since it has a definite cause and is not irrational, given the experiences I have had to tolerate. The telephone simply has become the worst thing in my life, and something I try to avoid.
Heather says
My problems started when I was around 5 or so, on Christmas day, when the house phone rang and my mom answered it from the bedroom. She talked on it for a short while and then called me into the room and handed me the phone and said “someone wants to talk to you”-it was my father. They had been divorced since i was a baby, and i didn’t know who he was at all. Anyways, i froze up and was paralyzed- didn’t know what to say and was scared of the strangers voice. From then on, i suffered severe anxiety on the holidays because the phone would ring all day long from family and friends calling. I knew one of those calls would be my dad and i didn’t know what to say and didn’t want to hear the voice again. Years went by and it only got worse. I’m ok making calls to strangers, although it makes me stall and rehearse what i’m going to say. I panic when i hear my phone ring-if its mom or friend, i let it go to voicemail. Im afraid i have nothing to talk about or i have to hear their frustrations about me not calling back or ignoring them for weeks/months because i just cant make a call to them. I’ve lost friends this way. I tell everybody, “your better off texting me”. This was the perfect feature on the phone for me when it came out.. sooo relieved! I also cant make calls to family or friends because i’m afraid i’m calling at a inconvenient time, or just bothering them. When i do call, i hope to god their voicemail answers and i can just say something quick and get off the phone. I also used to have to take a few shots of rum before i made a call so i could relax enough to make myself just dial the number and hopefully speak like i’m normal and comfortable talking on the phone. I still feel weak and nauseous when the phone rings and i see who’s calling. I ignore the call, or sometimes just turn it off for a day. And of course then i feel terrible that that’s how i treat my family/friends-and wish they could understand it’s not them, it’s me!
kl says
OMG you have properly explained exactly what I have been going through. I haven’t been able to express my exact reasoning for the fairly new phobia type situation for the past 8 or so years. However, I have untreated C-PTSD and Severe Anxiety Disorder, and as more time goes by, more and more odd behaviors appear. Thanks for putting it in writing! Funny enough, as I am a writer, and have not been able to open my mind enough on this subject to describe it fully. It’s a bummer that’s all I can say. Take it easy.
Lostinthefearsauce says
I relate so much to your story and the feelings you experience with phone calls! I feel sick to my stomach when I hear it ring or when I “have” to make a call (even though, in the end, I usually don’t). I believe my phobia stems from my childhood. My mother could talk on the phone for hours on end, and when I was little, she would force me to answer the phone even though I knew it wasn’t for me. It was always for her, and I always felt awkward, and that would often manifest in my mispronouncing words or sounding stupid. Then when my beloved family fell apart through a divorce, I would have phone calls with my dad, and my mom would listen in on the other end and whisper things to me while covering the receiver. Mean things she wanted me to say to hurt my dad, which also scarred me into hating the phone. I know that the fear is ridiculous and out of proportion to the experience, but it doesn’t seem to qualm any of the fear and physical pain that it brings on. And it has disconnected me from a lot of people I love, unfortunately. I just feel sick to my stomach even thinking about having to make phone calls. Trapped in my own fear.
HR says
Don’t know if this counts as one or not or even a mild but, I can’t bring myself to even make a call, even if the call is related to something important. Which is weird. I can handle talking to people on the phone as long that i know the person (from family members to friends to people that i just met that later becomes friends) and calling them that is important or receiving something that is important. And with conversation online with strangers where only the screen name is shown and not the real one. I can even handle talking to complete and total strangers in person and have no problem blabbing my mouth off. I just can’t handle talking to someone that i don’t know on the phone important. Even if both of us are pretty much only going having a conversation just on that one phone call and that it and most likely will never talk to each other ever again (even just a quick simple phone call).
Jessica says
I have a horrible fear of using the phone. I can not talk to friends family etc…. the only people I can speak to on the phone are my husband and mother. And even then sometimes I get anxious talking to my mom! This has seriously damaged my life. I do not go to the doctors ever because I would have to call to make an appointment. In fact right this moment I have several huge issues that can only be addressed by a doctor and even though the 1 being the need for a therapist is causing me so much pain daily, I still can’t call. It has started getting worse. I’m starting to fear social media and any kind of contact conversation with another person. I feel like I’m dying. I have no friends and no real family. I have become so very isolated. I also have other disorders including agoraphobia which just adds on to the problem. I’m starting to think that I will never get help.
Susan G Holland, Art Studio says
Just had an argument with my daughter who insists that I (and others) have to do something about this because it leaves her feeling abandoned. No one returns her calls. I am one who dreads the phone ringing and usually let the voice messaging take care of it. Then I avoid listening to the voice messages. My first “reason” for this is that it interrupts me I’m an artist, and also hyper-focused when I am on a project. If I get side tracked I fear I will never get back into the flow of the project. ADHD — always a problem.
Do you think that email and texting has taken the place of voice to voice communications? Do you think that people don’t want to “do the work” of talking face to face? Are phone calls hard to finish without a lot of guilt about saying “I have to go now.”?
Another thing. I am hard of hearing and often cannot understand people on the phone..so I have a legitimate problem there, but if people are willing to repeat and speak slowly I can manage it. Also one of my friends has Cerebral Palsy which makes her very hard to understand. I dread talking on the phone to her. It’s better in person where I can see what she is trying to say with lip reading.
tia says
I’m a woman in my 50’s who has had ‘phone phobia’ since I was about 10. It’s a long and weird story but basically my father returned to my life after living in America for 5 years as the result of my mother’s untimely death and being our surviving parent. The way that people will immigrate to another country and then send for their family when they’re settled and have met the requirements to be a sponsor. He had a phone installed, which allowed him to call America to stay in contact with his ‘other woman’ who he was living in a common law relationship with while married to my mother. I don’t know if she fully knew what was going on. But I remember my first time I speaking on the phone.. He put me on to speak to ‘Nancy’ (name changed) and my ‘sister’, who was about 3 years old at the time. It made no sense to me that I had a sister and that ‘Nancy’ was her mother, but not mine. I didn’t understand that producing kids is biological process that doesn’t require marriage. I had trouble understanding these people and had nothing to say. I’ve always been very introverted so that didn’t help. It was the craziest, time to have just lost my mother and then to have this other woman attempt to take her place. Eventually we did immigrate and lived with them. What a mess for all involved. And now as an adult, I have basically estranged myself from my extended family because of my discomfort with using the telephone. My father has health concerns that I would like to help with, but I live so far away. My brother calls me with updates from time to time, but I feel horrible about not being there to support, and not keeping in contact. I know I need to change this, but it’s so difficult. Bothers my conscience every day.
Kristina says
I have an extreme phone phobia, I’m pretty sure it started when I was in high school and my sister got on drugs and abandoned me, then we started receiving bills collectors calling us all the time looking for her and my mom would a) start to not even answer the phone b) get reminded of the pain of my sisters problem c) start hating the phone ring. Add to that that my parents really were big chatters on the phone anyways, but from then on, I have developed severe anxiety when I hear phones ring, especially house phones. I own a cell phone but am not the type to be constantly looking at it in fact I often ignore it for hours sometimes days, friends get mad at me, I’ve had family get mad at me for not answering. I told the, text me and I love texts. It has really not helped my already hard life and need to take care of things, but fail when it comes time to use the phone, often missing doctors appointments, job offers, and many other opportunities to improve my life but run and avoid the phone. Why lord why do I have to feel like this?
Rebecca says
I have the same problem as you reguarding family members getting angry with me for not answering the phone. I feel like everyone that calls is going to want something from me or be upset and yell at me. I also feel trapped when people keep talking and talking and won’t let me hang up. This gives me such anxiety that I start to sweat and almost pass out. I ignore very important phone calls from my kids teachers which makes them think I don’t care and am a bad parent. I have just gotten to the point where I don’t like talking to anyone at all. Also no one understands this and thinks I make it up because I’m lazy or something. They don’t understand how incredibly horrific the thought of talking on the phone can be.
Rebecca Sawyer says
I feel this very same way. I hate even talking to family members. My job requires minimal phone usage, thank goodness. I don’t know where this stems from but am glad I am not the only one who suffers from this. I will put off making a phone call for DAYS, WEEKS, until there is not other choice. Then I feel extremely anxious, like someone is going to kill me, yell at me, etc.
Jonah says
I’m doing some research on phone anxiety. I used to suffer terribly from it, but have gotten better over the last several years.
I would love if you would reply and tell me a little more about your biggest challenges when it comes to phone anxiety.
Do you dream about solving this problem and being done with it forever?
Or mainly just focus on how to accept yourself as you are and how to cope with the anxiety?
Sree Niranjanaa says
I got this telephonophobia when I was three years old. The telephone call was for my father. Being a toddler, I was playing around with things. I was so curious to take a phone call as I watched people using telephones in the Television. I took the call and was blabbering where the person on the other side shouted at me to hand over the phone to the elders. To this date, I face this anxiety in answering the calls. I stammer and my pronunciation goes wrong. My heart beat goes up and I feel loss of breath at times, even while talking to my parents. I prefer texting than calling my friends, because of which I have lost touch with most of my friends.
Jule Jones says
I have just started my new job and I cant bring myself to answer the phone, although I can happily make calls to shopping channels etc
Chad Fisher says
I don’t have the fear of talking on the phone. My fear is more layered than that. I prefer talking on the phone rather than texting with family and friends. I even prefer talking on the phone to people of influence rather than texting them.
The fear is using the phone for Bill collectors, Financial Services, or asking for donations. I would much rather do those things in Person or take care of those things on the internet.
I don’t mind approaching a bill collector personally in the office, but I have major anxiety attacks when I try to call them, which causes me to procrastinate.
I believe it is because the phone while more personal than texting is still impersonal. I can’t see the person’s physical reaction to what I say. I can’t read their personality, their body language. I can set apart those inclinations with other important things, but for some reason not when it comes to financial things. I don’t understand this.
Rosetta says
Hi Chad,
Thank you for sharing your story – I am doing some research into this topic & wondered whether I could speak with you.
Rosetta
Dave says
This Fear has destroyed me. I know I must answer, very important calls, legal, family, work. I can`t. I am so desperate right now. My voice-mail inbox is permanently full and auto deletes after one month. The real breakthrough I found was a stronger emotion. In my case ANGER! Possibly frustration. When I am blowing my top at being frustrated I think, oh why doesn`t that telesales nut call now…? I would answer. I think my fear came about from complainers through business. It was easier to ignore them and now I can`t get back on the horse. Even family calls. I think we need to re-learn how to answer, and when we do, it will be OK. I have tried gentle ringtones, quiet ones, comedy ones, and swapped phones, bigger to make me feel better and smaller to take the power away from the caller. I still can not answer the phone…
Rosetta says
Hi Dave,
Thank you for sharing your story – I am doing some research into this issue & would love to speak with you.
Rosetta
Vincent "Vinny" Setala says
On my birthday last January 20, a 2-ton truck lost control after slamming her brakes for no apparent reason, and the rear end rode up my hood, eventually folding it up and causing a sideways whiplash movement and hit my head very hard. I also have PTSD, and Anxiety Disorder. About 4 weeks after the accident I became so afraid of the phone, of driving, of leaving my home, to the point I could not even get to the doctor’s/therapist’s offices.
My friends don’t understand how serious this is and in this case was (according to medical people) most likely caused by traumatic brain injury and/or nerve compression. It is slowly getting worse and worse, and now I am terrified every single day to incapacity. I used to be a “tough guy” (logger, biker etc) and used to say I wasn’t afraid of anything on two legs. I have never dealt with fear like this and can’t see myself living like this!
Laura says
WOW! What a relief it was to see this! I thought I was just weird! (ok, I pretty much am anyway!) :) Anyway, thanks for showing me I’m not alone in this!
princess says
Hi. I have a huge fear of answering and making phone calls because I am not much of a talker but when it comes to texting I am an expert
Rebecca Sawyer says
Same here. I dont mind texts at all, but am scared to death of talking on the phone. Its been this way since I was a kid
Sarah says
My telephonophobia came about in an unfortunate way. I already had a plethora of phobias and anxiety and didn’t much like talking on the phone because I didn’t want to get trapped in a conversation that I couldn’t end. I did still use the phone though, I just didn’t like it. But then my existing anxiety disorder caused me to need an extended period of leave from work and I then spent 7 months receiving no income. This meant being hounded by debt collectors by phone, mail, email, and in person. I stopped answering the phone and even now after I’ve started receiving income and have paid off all my debts, I still can’t bear to answer a ringing phone. I know there’s nobody hunting me down for money now but I just panic when I hear the phone ring and I get so anxious about talking on the phone when I make calls that I can barely speak sometimes. I still have to force myself to open my mail too, and I continued not opening it at all for a while after the worry should have passed. I only just recently started checking my email again too.
So I think if you’re already an anxious person or if you’re not able to cope with an onslaught of creditors during a period of financial difficulty, this could also lead to these types of phobias.