To be honest I can barely even write down the words, but for as long as I remember I have been terrified and physically disgusted by bows. I think it started with them being on my vests and underwear when I was little, but I remember I used to rip and cut them out frantically, cutting the offending lace or fabric into little bits and hiding it at the bottom of my bin. Strangely the smaller the size or compactness of them made me more terrified of them. I can handle a knot in a shoelace for example, but a girls hair clip with even the shape of a bow sickens me. And this fear has only gotten worse and spread over time. It used to be just bows related to girls fashion that freaked me out, but now it’s spread to bows that men wear. I can’t even bring myself to write it down, so I’ll write it backwards- seitwob. It’s so bad that I will physically gag and run away in restaurants if a waiter is wearing one, I avert my eyes while going past shop windows with men’s clothing, plus weddings and proms are a no-go area. I have actually crossed the street and ran for a bit to get away from shops that I know had mannequins in the window wearing tuxedos and the bows around their necks. I genuinely feel so sick and uncomfortable just writing this down. I cannot look at pictures, even drawings of bows on or off a person, let alone in real life. In some ways pictures of them are worse to me cause they are static. Honestly just the thought of them makes me want to wash my brain out with bleach and leave the planet. How the hell I got like this I have no idea. I have no traumatic experiences relating to it that I know of. My mum has no idea either. Must have been murdered by someone wearing one in a past life or something cause I’m at a complete loss here. Life is difficult especially living in the West where it is fashionable. Anyway if anyone else in this big world shares this fear. You’re not alone.
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