I go around every day looking at everything and mentally see hell break loose. With the chaos happening in real life and the chaos happening in my head, I always expect the worst to take place. I guess it started when I was about 10. My uncle was driving my cousin and I home, my cousin and I in the backseat doing our own things. I was watching videos of Michael Jackson and she was reading a book I think. We were happily going about our day, my uncle cracking hilarious jokes, my cousins basically having a spelling bee with everyone and I was singing Thriller loud and proud. It was raining that day so the road was quite slippery. As my Uncle Rick (let’s call him that) was just turning a corner when this big black van rammed into us. It damaged a whole half of the car and sent dirt inside, everywhere. Everyone was okay but I was in a daze. We could have possibly ran off the road and into the ocean. Everything sounded muffled and awfully slow. I couldn’t believe any of this was happening. “Am I alive?”, “How am I going to get home?”, “Is anyone hurt?”, “Is everyone okay?” were the only questions that dared pass through my numbed mind. Nothing seemed real; everything at that moment looked out of this world. I helped clean off my cousin while Uncle Rick exited the vehicle to tell the other driver some not so friendly words. I was so out of it, I couldn’t even remember how we got home. It feels so good to share that experience. Not having it all Bottled up feels absolutely amazing. Hope you enjoyed my trauma. I’ve got a few more where that came from and it feels pretty damn good to let it out.
Rodriguez, Sofie says
Omg, that’s exactly how I realized I had Panophobia. But instead, I was 11. I was in a car crash, this person was on a skateboard and they stupidly rammed into our car’s windshield on a green light. I was confused when it just happened and in shock. I was only thinking and asking questions like: “Oh my god what just happened?” and “Are we okay?”, “Is everything and everyone fine?” and finally, “How are we going to get home now?”. That’s when I REALLY got that fear. At first, I thought I had a fear of cars because I couldn’t stop thinking of possible ways I could die one day in a car. The next thing I realized was a jellyfish. I saw it nearby and my real dad told me it was okay and that it didn’t hurt. But then my stepdad told me the truth and it stung badly. So I was scared of the ocean. Next, in my bedroom, I was constantly thinking about someone breaking in and murdering me. Then, I saw how high a plane was flying a few days after, and I pictured myself in a plane, dying and landing in the ocean. Then I thought about the roof over my house flying away and me dying of being squashed. Literally couldn’t keep my mind off death. I realized I must have Thantophobia and Panophobia. That’s how it literally happened and happens every day in my life. o7 for me peoples.