My Story About Phobias

My phobia is Sedatephobia, also known as the fear of silence. It has effected all of my high school classes in which I feel like throwing up every hour. Ever since I was in a quiet place in seventh grade I could not accept myself. Like I started hating myself for being able to have anxiety, feeling anxious and nervous. I have feared many other things but Sedatephobia is what I have the most. Sometimes I take Tums to see if that helps, sometimes it does but than other times it doesn’t. So I honestly don’t know if I should get therapy or not. My parents support it, but I don’t know. Cause I am also afraid of the unknown. But my anxiety gets in the way no matter what. Whenever I don’t like something I try and get out of it. Sometimes I will avoid the situation by going to different places or leaving. Which in the end I get very anxious which makes it worse. So then I have like an emotional breakdown, and it might get me nowhere but I actually feel ok afterwards. Is there something wrong with me or is there something wrong in my head? I would love to know because I hate this the most. I know hate is a strong word but I feel like it deserves this word. In order for me not to worry about anything I just need to remember to stay calm and don’t care. Plus after every single quiz I take in class I get super nervous about everything and then end up feeling more exhausted than I was at the beginning of the class or day. Which in return I feel as if I am dying three times over and over. Plus it doesn’t help when others tell me not to worry about something. Because then I actually do worry about it.