I have a severe phobia of rodents (and bats a.k.a. ”rodents with wings”). I believe it stems from one very traumatic experience / encounter as a child, although I did also have family members terrified of them too, so likely there was some reciprocation of their behavior too.
Right now, I’m currently going through an exhausting phobic episode. 6 days ago I had an encounter. In my own home, where I live alone. This being the first at home “encounter” of my adulthood, it was extremely overwhelming and terrifying. Since then, I’ve managed to get help in doing things to deal with the “perpetrator” (a.k.a landlord set traps and sealed some holes) and even managed to get some “preventative work” done myself (a.k.a. more traps, and more sealing done by me, repellants galore) in the hopes to limit another encounter. I even got a cat during this process! Although, rationally, it’s been 6 days and I’d very much like to forget and move on with my life, I can’t. I still get hit with waves of paranoia and panic which can render me paralyzed with fear, and this seems to happen randomly (though predominantly after the sun sets). This prevents me from sleeping well and I’m exhausted! I haven’t managed to be able to turn off the lights, nor do I DARE turn off the background music that’s been playing constantly since that night (in the days leading up to it, everything started with “the noises” in the wall). I’m also unable to eat well, and have lost weight because of this. I’m still too scared to enter the room where the encounter happened. I’m in a constant state of “hyper vigilance” and don’t know how to let it go. I’m beginning to feel crazy and not sure whether a sudden pang of fear / alertness is warranted or simply paranoia. I’m seriously considering seeking out professional help, like hypnotherapy, cause I want my life (and my home/safe space that I cherish so much) BACK. I know this fear is a fairly common one, but I feel it shouldn’t be going on for so long. Hopefully I can find a way to “buy into” relaxing and letting my guard down a bit. I know that right now, I’m a zillion times better defended/equipped/prepared should (heaven help me) another incident occur, compared to this time last week before it happened, but I just can’t shake it off and keep thinking about the encounter. Something that literally lasted a split second has had SUCH a profound impact on me, and this, is my phobia.
Phobia of Rodents
What Now?
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