A parent and carer describes fears involving driving, heights, flying, water, and crowded settings.
This is a reader’s personal account, edited for readability. Ages and circumstances refer to the time of submission. It is not a clinical assessment.
A reader’s account
Hello folks I am a 39-year-old married mother of six and caretaker for an ailing elderly father-in-law. My life is limited by several fears/phobias which I have tried several drastic measures to conquer yet still feel as though I am controlled by them. I have been happily married for 20 years and have six beautiful children and I fear that my anxiety and fears could be passing on to them.
The fear I would most like to work on is driving. I have tried driving and actually enjoy it however, I live in a very busy town and cannot see myself able to drive. I did try for my permit once and failed and never went back. I fear that two of my older children may also experience this anxiety.
I also have a fear of heights and have tried amusement park rides trying to break that all of which caused a severe panic attack. I have a fear of flying and have flown both a helicopter and plane. My experience wasn’t traumatic but I can’t see myself being able to board another one without extreme anxiety.
I do also have a fear of large bodies of water.
I can attribute these fears and phobias to some traumatic events as well as the fact that my family never allowed us nor taught us how to drive out of control over us. I have had two traumatic experiences both with a semi hitting us with my child in the vehicle as well as the same child being thrown in a pool when he was very little and unable to swim by a dangerous nephew that seems to have triggered my horrific fear of large bodies of water.
I want to someday feel normal and am finding it very difficult to do so.
And lastly but not least I have a social anxiety to the point I avoid settings where my children want to be a part of as well as normal errands. Very full stores, grocery shopping, holidays, etc. I will sit in the car while my family goes in the store or have a complete meltdown and have to have my husband take me home and sending him back to the store to complete necessary errands.
I have stayed home for months at a time due to my anxiety and want to live a normal life please help. Thank you and God Bless You.
Editorial note
Overwhelming yourself on an amusement ride, taking an unsafe drive, or entering water without appropriate safeguards is not a recommended way to address fear. The writer’s reports do not establish what caused the anxiety or whether it has been passed to children. A professional can help plan gradual work that fits physical safety, family responsibilities, and the person’s goals.
An online story cannot establish a diagnosis. If fear or distress is affecting your daily life, a qualified healthcare professional can help assess it. Comments and readers’ experiences are not a substitute for individual care.
To mother of 6; It’s weird but many people experience anxiety attacks in grocery stores or Malls. My brother used to call it Mall Head until I informed him it was anxiety. I retired from a successful career as a Health Inspector and Food Safety educator. I had such bad anxiety when I first started my job after college my mom went with me to the interview. I tried hypnosis. Behavioral therapy. Nothing worked but the big guns. I have been on the same dosage of Lorazepam for 20 years. It gave me my life back. I did tons of public speaking, tv and radio. Something I thought I could never do. Go to a psychiatrist. Don’t let them give you antidepressants. You need anti anxiety meds. They always think you are depressed. Heck yes it’s depressing to have fear to even go in and buy milk.