I don’t know if I really have a phobia because I am terrified of people I’m not used to. It’s really disturbing my daily life. Whenever I see someone, my mind will always wonder what are they thinking about me and I assume that it is negative comments about me. I get scared and nervous. Sometimes I’m shaking. That is one of the reasons why I got myself a mirror so I make sure I look okay and feel a little bit more confident whenever someone talk to me because I’m scared they will see something I don’t want them to see even though I know I look just fine. There is a time when I got the answer for my math question but my friends did not get it, they asked me to teach them. I tried to be okay but I just can’t. My hand was shaking. I couldn’t hold the pencil properly. My voice was shaking too. I’m just scared that my answer is wrong and they will judge me. I get this nervous feeling even when I am with my relatives or friends. I always decide to stay quiet especially in school and my teacher don’t even know I exist in her class. It is really hard for me especially in communication. I have a big dream that I would like to achieve but this kind of feeling is disturbing me. I’m just scared about my future because I know I can’t survive alone. I am a student and I need to talk to people a lot but this feeling make me avoid people around me. When I am in the class my teacher will ask questions to us and I would really like to answer them but I’m just scared people will judge me if I got it wrong. Whenever the teacher force me to speak my voice will be really low and they can’t hear it properly. I tried my best to make it loud but it does not change. Some time I was mad at some people in my class as they always took advantage on me because they know I can’t scold them back. I got really angry but I could not show them so what I did was when I went home, I would be in a bad mood and release my anger on my little brother. There was a time when my family scolded me for being too shy and I was so sad. They didn’t understand the feelings that I was having. I think I got this feeling or phobia because of my past. I was once a fat little girl. My family and friends always mocked me. I cried a lot and still have that kind of feeling whenever I’m with other people even though I know I’m no longer fat. I really hope people will understand how my condition is. Do you think I have Anthropophobia? What do you think I should do?
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